NUTRITION SUGGESTIONS FOR A HEALTHY LIFE

Almighty Allah Who created the universe from nothing has made human beings responsible not only for acting as His servants but also for looking after their bodily existence. He has entrusted to them what needs to be kept as best as can be. We must not forget that robust health is the greatest blessing that Allah has given us. When we protect the bodies entrusted to us from illness, there are a few things about nutrition that we should keep in mind:

- Do not eat animal fats, butter or margarine.

- Eat lost of fruits and vegetables, even before meals.

- Be careful of salt and cook your food without using salt.

- Eat small amounts frequently.

- Do not eat late. If possible, get used to not eating after 9 o’clock.

- Use cold pressed olive oil in your food and on your salads. But don’t use too much olive oil; no more than 2 tablespoons a day. Otherwise the consumption of unsaturated fats will cause you to gain weight.

- Watch your carbohydrate intake. You should eat only one kind of carbohydrate per meal, such as bread, rice or pasta.

- Avoid refined sugar and white bread. Eat brown sugar instead of white and whole grain bread instead of white bread. Refined sugar and carbohydrates dissolve quickly in the blood producing an excess of insulin that could overwork the pancreas. This could hasten the onset of diabetes. Whole grain products contain vitamin B, leave a person feeling full and supply fiber that facilitates the working of the intestines.

- Balance your cholesterol with omega oils. Omega oils balance the cholesterol produced in the liver. Omege-3 is found mainly in fish; Omega-6 is found in walnuts and hazelnuts. Omega-3 found in canola oil has recently become popular.

- Cold water oily fish are especially rich in Omega-3 but because they contain lots of cholesterol they must be eaten sparingly. You can eat two small servings twice a week.

- We do not need more sugar or sweets than we get in our daily diet. The bread and rice that we consume is changed by the liver into the sugar that the body needs every day. One way to keep the blood sugar stable is to eat whole grain bread and brown rice which pass into the bloodstream after being slowly absorbed by the intestines. The stability of the blood sugar caused by these foods make us feel satisfied for a long time. This balance is delicately adjusted, but in any case if you are craving for sugar satisfy it by eating natural sweets such as dates, figs or a dried apricots.

The Status of Women in Islaam

By Shaikh Ibn Baz

The status of the Muslim woman in Islaam is a very noble and lofty one, and her effect is very great in the life of every Muslim. Indeed, the Muslim woman is the initial teacher in the building of a righteous society, providing she follows the guidance from the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah of His Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam. Since adherence to the Qur’aan and the Sunnah distances every Muslim - male or female - from being misguided in any matter.

The secret of her importance lies in the tremendous burden and responsibility that is placed upon her, and the difficulties that she has to shoulder - responsibilities and difficulties some of which not even a man bears. This is why from the most important obligations upon a person is to show gratitude to the mother, and kindness and good companionship with her. And in this matter, she is to be given precedence over and above the father...

A man came to Allaah’s Messenger sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam and said: O Messenger of Allaah! Who from amongst mankind warrants the best companionship from me? He replied: "Your mother." The man asked: Then who? So he replied: "Your mother." The man then asked: Then who? So the Prophet replied again: "Your mother." The man then asked: Then who? So he replied: "Then your father." [Related by al-Bukhaaree (no.5971) and Muslim (7/2), from Abu Hurayrah radiallaahu ‘anhu ]. So this necessitates that the mother is given three times the like of kindness and good treatment than the father.

As regards the wife, then her status and her effect in making the soul tranquil and serene, has been clearly shown in the noble aayah (verse), in His - the Most High’s - saying:

"And from amongst His Signs is this: That He created for you wives from amongst yourselves, so that you may find serenity and tranquility in them. And He has put between you love and compassion. Indeed, in this are signs for those who reflect." [Soorah Room 30:21].

...And do not forget about ‘Aaishah - radiallaahu ‘anhaa - and her great effect. Since even the great Sahaabah (Companions) used to take knowledge of Hadeeth from her, and many of the Sahaabiyaat (female Companions) learn the various rulings pertaining to women’s issues from her...

And I have no doubt that my mother - may Allaah shower His mercy upon her - had a tremendous effect upon me, in encouraging me to study; and she assisted me in it. May Allaah greatly increase her reward and reward her with the best of rewards for what she did for me.

And there is no doubt also, that the house in which there is kindness, gentleness, love and care, along with the correct Islaamic tarbiyah (education and cultivation) will greatly affect the man. So he will become - if Allaah wills - successful in his affairs and in any matter - whether it be seeking knowledge, trading, earning a living, or other than this. So it is Allaah alone that I ask to grant success and to guide us all to that which He loves and is pleased with. And may the prayers and peace of Allaah be upon our Prophet Muhammad, and upon his Family, his Companions and his followers.

Islam : A Missing Link ?

Pause and reflect, there are numerous questions that start puzzling human mind right from the moment the human babe draws upon the dawn of consciousness – what are the material things, life, consciousness and the allied matters. What are Intuition, Revelation about Etakaaf, Zakat, Human Personality. What is the prayer (Namaz) and how does it differ from Salaat. What is the Destiny of Man. Are Good and Evil absolute. Is there any supersensuous source of knowledge for human counseling and directing. What is the political system of Quran that has been hurled into the trashcan of history and how does it help mould the human life today. What are the injunctions of fasting? What is the purpose of Hajj in the social order of Islam. What does the Quran say of alms and charity? And how does the Quran solve today's social and marriage problems.

In more recent times, fresh problems changing the mores and cores of life have cropped up – race, gambling, betting – its various forms – drinking, mix of wine with medicine, music, lottery, historical, interpretations and Islam, pornography, indecency, age, - its increasing and decreasing – economic system producing a mishmash of confusion, and cunnings of human reason, trepidation of the educated young – terrorism and escape – least measures to stymie ones ambitions, avalanche of funds to be accumulated, offering baubles and trinkets to make unlawful wide open and the like many more. Finally what is wrong with our History – the History of Islam, the achievements made during the First Era of Islam, the conspiracies of the foreign alliance against Islam, the significance of National Monuments? What is the future of Muslim Nationalism? Where will the romping with Deen, the System of Islam, lead us to in the comity of nations? What will come out of the pestilence – pernicious, evil influence – of elections? Why is Revelation the need of the West? And what its future is going to be.

The sole aim of projecting this vision is that the ultimate non-material basis of all life is eternal and reveals itself in variety and change.A society based on such a concept of Reality must reconcile, in its life,the categories of permanence and change.It must possess absolute principles to regulate its collective life.But absolute principles when they are understood to exclude all possibilities of change tend to immobilize what is essentially mobile in its nature.The failure of the Europe in political and social sciences illustrates the former principle;the immobility of Islam during the last five hundred years illustrates the latter.These underlined facts and figures,all of them need to be heeded, if we start pondering on these lines now! and evolve ourselves in its true essence then we can regain our lost character, otherwise what our status quo remain same even after 5 million years.

Qur'anic Views on Polygamy

Polygamy (ta'adud-e-izdiwaj) 1

For either spouse the word used in Arabic is zawj, which means both husband or wife. Thus the very word zawj implies one husband and one wife. For marrying the word in Arabic is zawwaja or tazawwaja ( I married) and this means he married one woman ( or zawwajat, ie., she married a man). Zawwaja cannot mean the on one side there would be one man and on the other four or five women.

"O people, keep your duty to your Lord, who created you from a single soul and created its (zawjaha) of the same (kind), and spread from these two many men and women."….. The Qur'an 4: 1

In this Qur'anic verse Allah has created a couple (zawj, i.e., man and woman) and then created men and women from this couple. Thus in the beginning there was one male and one female and not many females for one male, though at that time there was greater need for this to increase the human population rapidly (it is not correct to say that polygamy leads to rapid increase in human population). This Qur'anic verse usually is recited while solemnizing the marriage (khutbah-e-nikah) but our 'ulama do not reflect deeply the implications of this verse. Obviously this verse clearly implies one female for one male and not many females for one male.

Let us refer to another verse of the Qur'an (2: 35) which says, "And We said: O Adam, dwell thou and thy wife in the garden, and eat from it a plenteous (food) wherever you wish, and approach not this tree, lest you be of the unjust."

Adam was the first person sent on earth and Allah had created only one wife for him and not several wives. Wherever Adam's story has been referred to in the Glorious Book, it refers to Adam and Hawwa' (Eve). For example, in verse 20: 117 it is said, "We said: O Adam, this is an enemy to thee and thy wife; so let him not drive you both out of the garden so that thou art unhappy." This verse also clearly refers to only one wife of Adam.

Let us refer to the verses 75: 36-39: "Does man think that he will be left aimless? Was he not a small life germ in sperm emitted? Then he was a clot; so He created (him), then made (him) perfect. Then He made of him two kinds, the male and the female." This verse also refers to men and women being made into zawjain, i.e., couples which clearly means one woman for one man. Thus God creates couples right from day one. Allah does not create ten women for one man. It is man, one can argue, who changes this equation.

But if it happens (i.e., more women for one man) it is due to some social crisis. The Noble Qur'an, one can argue, has shown us the solution. But during the normal period Allah creates only one woman for one man and man has to remain content with one woman only. But if someone marries a woman and be comes to dislike her, the Qur'an does not suggest that you then marry another one as four wives have been permitted. On the other hand the Qur'an says:

" O you who believe, it is not lawful for you to take women as heritage against (their) will. Nor should you straighten them by making them part of what you have given them, unless they are guilty of manifest indecency. And treat them kindly. Then if you hate them, it may be that you dislike a thing while Allah has placed abundant good in it. And if you wish to have (one) wife in the place of another and you have given one of them a heap of gold, take nothing from it. Would you take it by slandering (her) and (doing her) manifest wrong? And how can you take it when you have gone in unto each other, and they have taken from you a solemn covenant?"

The Qur'an requires that if you dislike your wife you better reconcile yourself to it because you may dislike something and Allah may have hidden something better for you in that. So it is better that you change your dislike into love. This may be good for you. No one is virtue personified nor anyone is evil personified. The wife you dislike may have certain virtues. But if you cannot overcome your dislike and you decide to divorce and marry another one (here the Qur'an does not suggest taking another wife along with the first but divorcing one and taking another one) you cannot take back from her what you had given her by way of mahr or gift, even if it be a heap of Gold. Thus the Qur'an puts pressure on the husband to think twice before divorcing one wife to take another in her place. The Qur'an persuades man to stick to the first wife and not to divorce her. Thus the Qur'an does not approve of polygamy even in such circumstances. It permits it only in highly exceptional circumstances or only in a crisis situation.

One should focus the verses on polygamy, i.e., verses 4: 2-3, to show that polygamy has been permitted only in highly exceptional circumstances, i.e., when a large number of women have been rendered yatim (orphans) due to devastating wars (which was not at all unusual at that time in Arabia. The Noble Prophet himself had to fight many such wars in which a large number of men were killed). The word yatim used in the above verse means not only orphans but also widows according to the classical Arabic usage. Even Imam Abu Bakr Jassas agrees to this meaning of the word yatim. Thus it is quite natural that in war time a large number of girls and women became orphans or widows and many of them possessed valuable properties. Their wards would either eat away this property or would exchange a bad one of their own with the good one of these orphans and widows. Thus in order to protect the properties of these women and to find shelter for them the Qur'an permitted marrying up to four wives. One can quote extensively from the Hanafi Imam Abu Bakr Jassas to support the above arguments.

The Meaning of verse 4: 3 is that you should marry these orphans or widows only, not other women. The words min al-nisa' and not min nisa'in clearly indicate that the Qur'an means those very women rendered orphans and widows in wars. Many commentators of the Qur'an maintain that a man can marry any other woman up to four whom he likes and quote a hadith to this effect from A'isha, the Prophet's wife.

Whatever is conditional would remain valid only if the condition is fulfilled. The number of marriages up to four has been permitted only on the condition that there are large number of orphan girls and widows who are not being taken care of or injustices are taking place with them or no one is there to look after them. Only if these conditions persist, up to four marriages will be permitted to Muslim men. But if such a condition does not prevail in the society, the permission to marry more than one wife will not be valid. This injunction in the Qur'an is not general but conditional. The verse pertaining to polygamy begins with wa in khiftum alla tuqsitu fi' al-yatama (if you fear you cannot do justice to orphans and widows) and hence this is the main condition. Thus it is obvious that one can take more than one wife only from among orphans and widows with whom one cannot do justice otherwise.

If the verse on polygamy permits more than one wife only in crisis situations why was it not understood in this perspective in the early Islamic period and why does this practice ( of polygamy) continue among the Muslims unabated? In the early Islamic period, as well as until the end of the Abbasid rule, the period was full of wars. During the Noble Prophet's time a number of battles had to be fought. Then during early period of Khilafat-e-Rashidah a number of wars were fought and then began the period of civil war among the Muslims. It was followed by the Umayyad period which was also full of conflict and turmoil. The Umayyads were subsequently overthrown and the Abbasid rule began. The wars continued. Sometimes with Daylams, sometimes with Saljuqs and sometimes Tartars. Ultimately the Tartars reduced the Abbasids to dust. This in these wars a large numbers of Muslim men continued to be killed and more and more orphan girls and widows came into existence. "Thus Muslim men continued to marry more than one wife and polygamy remained in practice. Because of its persistence for so long it became a strongly entrenched tradition and then followed the period of taqlid (blind imitation) and hence it persists in our times as well though Qur'anically speaking, it has no validity whatsoever today.

Polygamy 2

Polygamy was a way of life until the Quran was revealed 1400 years ago. When the earth was young and under-populated, polygamy was one way of populating it and bringing in the human beings needed to carry out God's plan. By the time the Quran was revealed, the world had been sufficiently populated, and the Quran put down the first limitations against polygamy.

Polygamy is permitted in the Quran, but under strictly observed circumstances. Any abuse of this divine permission incurs severe retribution. Thus, although polygamy is permitted by God, it behooves us to examine our circumstances carefully before saying that a particular polygamous relationship is permissible.

Our perfect example here is the prophet Muhammad. He was married to one wife, Khadijah, until she died. He had all his children, except one, from Khadijah. Thus, she and her children enjoyed the Prophet's full attention for as long as she was married to him; twenty-five years. For all practical purposes, Muhammad had one wife - from the age of 25 to 50. During the remaining 13 years of his life, he married the aged widows of his friends who left many children. The children needed a complete home, with a fatherly figure, and the Prophet provided that. Providing a fatherly figure for orphans is the only specific circumstance in support of polygamy mentioned in the Quran (4:3).

Other than marrying widowed mothers of orphans, there were three political marriages in the Prophet's life. His close friends Abu Bakr and Omar insisted that he marry their daughters, Aisha and Hafsah, to establish traditional family ties among them. The third marriage was to Maria the Egyptian; she was given to him as a political gesture of friendship from the ruler of Egypt.

This perfect example tells us that a man must give his full attention and loyalty in marriage to his wife and children in order to raise a happy and wholesome family.

The Quran emphasizes the limitations against polygamy in very strong words:

"If you fear lest you may not be perfectly equitable in

treating more than one wife, then you shall be content with one."

(4:3) "You cannot be equitable in a polygamous relationship, no matter how hard you try." (4:129)

The Quranic limitations against polygamy point out the possibility of abusing God's law. Therefore, unless we are absolutely sure that God's law will not be abused, we had better resist our lust and stay away from polygamy. If the circumstances do not dictate polygamy, we had better give our full attention to one wife and one set of children. The children's psychological and social well-being, especially in countries where polygamy is prohibited, almost invariably dictate monogamy. A few basic criteria must be observed in contemplating polygamy:

1. It must alleviate pain and suffering and not cause any pain or suffering.

2. If you have a young family, it is almost certain that polygamy is an abuse.

3. Polygamy to substitute a younger wife is an abuse of God's law (4:19).



Polygamy 3

The PUM (Persatuan Ulama Malaysia), it appears, is also piqued by a couple of writers and an NGO that have criticized groups, which offer unconditional support for polygamy. Here again, it is an indisputable truth that the Quranic position differs radically from the stance associated with an important section of mainstream ulama. The Quran, there is no doubt, permits polygamy only in the most extraordinary circumstance, as a way of delivering justice to orphans. Neither the financial status of the male nor his sexual needs nor the inability of the wife to bear a child is, from a Quranic point of view, a justification for practicing polygamy. Indeed, “monogamy is the preferred marital arrangement of the Quran” as many commentators have asserted from time to time in the course of the last few centuries. Amina Waded provides some insights into this and other related concerns in her Quran and Woman (Petaling Jaya: Fajar Bakti 1992). It is perfectly legitimate therefore for Muslims who are committed to Quranic principles to question those who have elevated polygamy to a sacrosanct law on par with the fundamental teachings of the religion.

As with apostasy, the conservative ulama may not be fully cognizant of the adverse consequences of their utterances on polygamy upon Islam, women and society. They create the impression that Islam is a religion that sanctions patriarchal power and dominance. Women are not only marginalized; whatever little rights they possess are given on sufferance. In the thinking of pro-polygamy ulama, gender equality, which is one of the major trends that transformed traditional society in the last hundred years, is nothing more than a mirage.



REFERENCES:

1. The Qur'an, Women and Modern Society, Asghar Ali Engineer, Select Books, India, 1999

2. This is a reprint from appendix 30 from Dr. Khalifa's translation of the Quran.

http://www.submission.org/polygamy.html

3. Ulama, Hegemony and Reform Chandra Muzaffar 16 February 2002

Parental Consent in Marriage

The poise and balance of a society heavily depends on the poise and balance of the attitudes and tendencies of its people. Whenever human attitudes cross their natural limits disorder and discord result. In particular, the stability of a society is threatened with dire consequences if people vested with political or moral authority misuse this sacred trust of Allah. A despotic ruler often faces popular revolt; a tyrannical husband soon encounters a defiant wife; oppressive parents inevitably groom rebellious children. It is necessary to curb this tendency of power to corrupt in order to build a healthy and prosperous society.
The ongoing debate on the extent of authority of parents over their children's choice to marry is one such case in point. As always, two distinct opinions have emerged. One of them is that a man or a woman is totally free in making his or her decision about the choice of partner and has the right to overrule the opinion of the parents or the guardian. The second is that the opinion of the parents is in all cases binding and must necessarily be kept in consideration. Though a particular case has initiated this debate, we believe that perhaps it would be more fruitful to view the whole matter in principle in the light of the guidance provided by the Qur’an and Sunnah and by the established principles of reason and intellect.
A word here about the nature of divine guidance seems appropriate. The basic aim of this guidance is to reveal to mankind the ariston metron or the golden mean. This golden mean is the summit of balance and the prime of poise in all the affairs of life. It is evident from the nature of Qur’anic guidance that for most matters man's intellect is enough to show him the way. However, this intellect often falters in maintaining a balance. Extremes engender extremes and reactions originate reactions unless, of course, the lighthouse of revelation guides the armada of reason.
We shall now attempt to explain the viewpoint of Islam on the issue under consideration. In order to do so, it is necessary to understand two basic principles it has established in this regard. Firstly, it regards the institution of family as the basis of its social order. Secondly, it gives great importance to freedom in decision making by the man and woman who intend to marry. It is its intense desire that the institution of family and the freedom of choice in marriage be given utmost consideration and only rare circumstances should allow an exception to these principles. Both of them need some elaboration.
Islam regards the institution of family as the basic unit of a society and stresses that it is the need of every individual if his life is viewed as a whole. Man is basically a weak and an insecure being. He has spiritual as well as material needs. Just as he needs to develop a strong relationship with the Almighty to fulfil his spiritual needs, he also needs to develop a strong relationship with his fellow human beings to fulfil his material needs. Islam says that a man and a woman must come together in a permanent bond of wedlock to create a family to fulfil these material needs which may be physical, emotional and psychological. A man and a woman taken separately, are incomplete in their existence. Both need each other to fill the voids of their personalities. There are some responsibilities which only a man can fulfil and others which only a woman can. Furthermore, since these requirements are everlasting, any temporary relationship between a man and a woman can never be truly fruitful. The Qur’an says that marriage is a means of solace and comfort for a man and a woman:

And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has planted love and kindness between you. (30:21)

Besides providing peace and tranquillity to the spouses, the role a family set up plays in fulfilling the needs of the individual born to a family is apparent to every keen eye. He passes the first half of his life in transforming from a child to a mature young man and the second half in transforming from a mature young man to an old man. In the greater part of the first period, he needs the love and affection of his parents. As an infant ‘ewling and puking in the nurse’s arms’, his meek and helpless existence need the love and affection of a mother and a father. It is only proper parental care which makes him feel secure and confident. Since parents are the first seat of learning, the base they build in moulding his character and in instructing him plays a vital role in the later part of his life.*
Grandparents also have an all important role to play: They imbue their grandchildren with the priceless wealth of wisdom and experience which helps them in traversing the rugged terrain of life. Brothers and sisters also make important contributions in developing his personality. The older ones are actually an extension of the parental role while the younger ones create in him an initial awareness of parenthood. Once a person reaches a mature age, certain other needs arise in him which must be fulfilled. It is at this stage that a man and a woman need each other to complement and complete one another. This relationship is the only means of providing emotional fulfilment and satisfaction to the spouses, which is the primary need that brings them together and they now also assume the role of the progenitors of a new family to start the cycle once again. In the second phase of life, an individual advances from the exuberant years of youth to enter the folds of old age. It is now that he needs the love and protection of his grown up children. In this state of ‘second childishness and mere oblivion’, which is ‘sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything’, it is only the set up of a family which can properly support him. Without such a support, old age is the worst form of affliction. No one else except the children have a strong attachment to their parents. It is this attachment which urges them to return in some form the support and affection they had once received from their parents.
Besides these primary relationships, the secondary relationships like maternal aunts and uncles and paternal aunts, cousin brothers and cousin sisters, nieces and nephews perform in a wider perspective the same function as the primary ones. The components of a family constitute a small community which if administered properly by the head of the family makes the basic unit of a society healthy.
The Encyclopaedia of Social Sciences while explaining the advantages of the set up of a family says:

The nature and development of the family have deep roots in the physiological conditions of human mating, reproduction and education. The exceptional prolongation of infancy as a state of helplessness and immaturity is one of the most instinctive features of mankind generally. Through it the role of the parents as well as of other relatives in nourishing, protecting and educating offspring is of the utmost importance for the individual and for society. However fixed the inherited traits and gifts of the individual may be, the child's necessary social equipment is doubtless acquired only through a circumstantial and long continued process of artificial training and adaptation. The family has been the chief bearer and medium of this process, which also vitalises the relations between the parents and in the wider sense between all the members of a blood relationship, for they are connected from generation to generation by the awareness of this social tradition. (vol 6, p 68)

The western world, over the last fifty years, however seems lost and confused on the importance of the institution of family. The feminist movement which began two centuries ago is now culminating in the disruption of this age old institution. The western world is bemoaning the loss of family values but perhaps it is just too late.
Islam on the other hand, as mentioned earlier, has always insisted that the institution of family is the basic building block of the society and it is in the interest of humanity to adhere to a family oriented society. Consequently, it has given a number of directives for the protection and preservation of the family. We shall mention some of these:
It says that a man and woman must come together in a permanent bond of marriage and must not indulge in extra-marital relationships since they dismember the institution of family. It prescribes severe punishments for people who are guilty of adultery and ostracises them from the society.
It lays down a whole code of social etiquette and communal conduct to safeguard and protect chastity and modesty which themselves are necessary for the well-being of a family set up.
It regards the husband as head of the family because his temperament and disposition are more suited for this task.
It is of the view that all differences of opinion between the husband and wife should generally be resolved in an atmosphere of mutual trust and confidence. However, if a situation of anarchy and disorder arises which threatens to disrupt the whole family set-up, the wife must adopt an attitude of submission and adjustment.
It invests the husband with certain powers to deal with a wife who adopts a rebellious attitude with him and stands up against his authority, just as an affectionate mother has the authority to admonish her children to correct them.
It holds the parents responsible for the proper upbringing of their children.
It urges the children to be very kind and compassionate to their parents, especially in old age.
It wants the mothers to regard the house as the centre of their activities (which of course does not mean that they cannot go out) so that they can give due attention to the future generations and are able to provide their husbands with solace and comfort.
It says that if ever a divorce is to end a family set up, a certain prescribed procedure should be followed in letter and spirit since this procedure ensures that the dissolution of marriage passes through an interim phase in which the decision has ample time to be reconsidered.
It maintains that if a divorced woman intends to start a new family, her former husband or his relatives must in no way obstruct her.
Among these directives also comes the Prophet's hadith the interpretation of which has become the centre of controversy these days:

A Nikah does not solemnise unless it takes place through the guardian and if someone does not have a guardian the ruler of the Muslims is his guardian. (Tirmidhi, Kitab-al- Nikah)

This Hadith is actually a corollary of the social directives of Islam pertaining to the institution of family and is based on great wisdom. Since the preservation and protection of the family set up is of paramount importance to Islam, it is but natural that each marriage take place through the consent of the parents who are the foremost guardians. It is obvious that a marriage solemnised through the consent of the parents shields and shelters the newly formed family. For reasons stated earlier, it is essential that the newly formed family be part of another larger family.
However, as is evident from the Hadith also, there can always be an exception to this general principle. If a man and a woman feel that the rejection on the part of the parents has no sound reasoning behind it or that the parents, owing to some reason, are not appreciating the grounds of this union, they have all the right to take this matter to the courts of justice. It is now up to the court to analyse and evaluate the whole affair. If it is satisfied with the stance of the man and woman, it can give a green signal to them. In this case, as is apparent from the hadith, the state shall be considered the guardian of the couple. On the other hand, if the court is of the view that the stand of the parents is valid, it can stop the concerned parties from engaging in wedlock. Similarly, if a case is brought before the judicial forums in which the marriage has taken place without the consent of the parents, it is up to the court to decide the fate of such a liaison. If it is not satisfied with the grounds of this union, it can order for their separation and if it is satisfied, it can endorse the decision taken by the couple.
This is the law as far as this issue is concerned. However, it is evident that laws mostly cater for extreme situations as their nature is preventive not reformatory. In other words, they prevent the spreading of anarchy and disorder in a society but have no role in positively building a society on a certain ideology. It is the utmost goal of Islam to build a society in which traditions are so deeply rooted that various affairs are settled and resolved within the social structure without taking them to the courts. Family affairs, if taken to the courts, become the talk of the town and severely damage the standing and reputation of the parties involved. Consequently, it is in the interest of the parties involved to settle their differences mutually by giving due importance to the ultimate goal of protecting the institution of family.
The society which, we believe, Islam wants to built is one in which the relationship between parents and children is based on such norms and values as protect the family set up. In such a society, if an individual has to select a life partner for himself or herself, he or she must make the utmost effort to convince the parents. In differences of opinion it seems proper that the individual accommodate the opinion of the parents as far as possible, and only in extraordinary circumstances should he/she persist in his/her decision. An individual no doubt has total freedom in decision making in this regard but he/she should give top priority to the protection of the institution of family. This freedom is so absolute that Islam disapproves of parents who forcibly marry their sons and daughters and makes it clear that it is the concerned man and woman who have the final say in this regard:

A girl once came to ‘A’ishah (raa) and said ‘My father has married me to his nephew to alleviate his poverty through me. I dislike him.’ ‘A’ishah (raa) replied ‘Wait here until the Prophet (sws) comes.’ The Prophet (sws) arrived shortly and she informed him of the matter. At this, the Prophet (sws) sent for her father. When he arrived the Prophet (sws) gave the girl the choice to do whatever she liked. She said: ‘I accept my father's decision. I only wanted to know whether a girl has authority in this regard or not’. (Nisa’i, Kitab-al-Nikah)

If in a society envisaged by Islam it is important that an individual give due regard to the opinion of the parents in marriage, it is even more important that the parents be extra cautious in this matter since they hold moral authority over their children. Misuse and abuse of such authority can produce grave consequences. Parents must give deep consideration to the inclinations and tendencies of their children in deciding their future in an affair as delicate as marriage. They should understand that once their children become mentally mature they must not impose their ideas on them. When an individual develops into a grown up person he deserves freedom of expression and freedom of action within certain limits. This actually develops and strengthens his personality. The vivacity of youth and the vigour of adolescence demand a certain amount of independence, which if curtailed, only turns a dull child into a dunce and an intelligent one into a ruffian. Adult children must be handled very tactfully. They must be moulded and convinced, encouraged and exhorted. Parents must realise that an adult child learns a lot through experience and exposure. The blunders he/she will commit today make him/her wise tomorrow. Parents who forgive and forgo win respect and regard and those who make it a point to punish the children on every mistake committed make no positive impression in their minds. Important decisions must always be discussed with children to breed confidence and conviction in them. A decision as crucial as marriage is no exception. If parents have a different view from their son’s or daughter’s, they must handle the situation very carefully. They must calmly assess the situation, and must also make a true evaluation of the grounds of such a proposition. They must also estimate how far they can insist before the matter enters the zone of no return. It is advisable that only in extreme circumstances should they deprive the couple of their guardianship. They must also keep in consideration that if they intend to back out from this position, the concerned man and woman have all the right to present their case before the court to finally decide the matter. This of course would either unite the two under the guardianship of the state or endorse the view of the parents, in which case the two must submit to the verdict of the court.



This we believe is the stance of Islam on this issue. We hope that the pundits of the society will find some time to consider this matter in the light of what has been said above.



*. While commenting on the role of ‘true’ parental affection on the development of the child, Bertrand Russel admits:
On the other hand, parental affection when it is of the right sort, undoubtedly furthers a child's development. Children whose mothers do not feel a warm affection for them are apt to be thin and nervous and sometimes they develop such faults as kleptomania. The affection of the parents makes infants feel safe in this dangerous world, and gives them boldness in experimentation and in exploration of their environment. It is necessary to a child’s mental life to feel himself the object of warm affection, for he is instinctively aware of his helplessness, and his need of a protection which only affection can ensure. If a child is to grow up happy, expansive and fearless, he needs certain warmth in the environment which is difficult to get except through parental affection. (Marriage and Morals, p. 127)

Abortion

In principle, the Qur'an condemns the killing of humans (except in the case of defense or as capital punishment), but it does not explicitly mention abortion. This leads Islamic theologians to take up different viewpoints: while the majority of early Islamic theologians permitted abortion up to day 40 of pregnancy or even up to day 120, many countries today interpret these precepts protecting unborn children more conservatively. Although there is no actual approval of abortion in the world of Islam, there is no strict, unanimous ban on it, either. Islam has not given any precise directions with regard to the issue of abortion. Hence it is not a matter, which has been clearly stated in the Shari'ah (Islamic Law) but rather an issue pertaining to the application of our knowledge of the Shari'ah. Such application may vary in conclusion with a difference in the basic premises of one's arguments.
The Qur'an clearly disapproves of killing other humans: “Take not life which Allah has made sacred” (6:151; see also 4:29 “If a man kills a believer intentionally, his recompense is Hell, to abide therein (for ever)” (4:93). Allah (SWT) went even further, making unlawful killing of a single individual human being equal to mass murder of the whole of mankind: "Because of that, We ordained for the children of Israel that if anyone killed a person not in retaliation for murder or for spreading mischief on earth, it would be as if he killed all mankind. And who saved a life, it would be as if he saved all mankind." (Al-Maidah, 5:32)

As to whether abortion is a form of killing a human, the Qur'an does not make any explicit statements. Only Surah 17:31 warns believers in general: “Kill not your children for fear of want. We shall provide sustenance for them as well as for you. Verily the killing of them is a great sin.”



There are those in Islam who oppose all abortions. A favored text to support this is: "Do not kill your children for fear of poverty for it is We who shall provide sustenance for you as well as for them." (Surah, Al-An' am, 6:151). This Qur'anic reference is to killing already born children--usually girls. The text was condemning this custom. The Arabic word for killing used in this text "means not only slaying with a weapon, blow or poison, but also humiliating or degrading or depriving children of proper upbringing and education." The text doesn't explicitly address the abortion and therefore doesn't close the argument on it.

The Qur'an says:



We created man from an essence of clay: then placed him, a living germ,

In a secure enclosure. The germ We made a leech; and the leech a lump of

Flesh; and this We fashioned into bones, then clothed the bones with flesh;

Then We develop it into another creation. (Surah Al-Mu'minoon, 23: 12-14)



This verse reveals how the fetus is formed and transforms into a complete human being.

The elaborate process of the development of the first human being is given in the Qur'an as follows:



He who has made everything which He has created most good. He

began the creation of man with(nothing more than) clay, and made

his progeny from a quintessence of the nature of a fluid despised.

Then He fashioned him in due proportion and breathed into him some-

thing of His Ruh(Life-Energy). And (with this) He gave you (the faculties

of ) hearing and sight and understanding. (Surah Al-Sajadah, 32:7-9).



During the development of fetus, the body received the Divine Ruh (Life-energy) and subsequently the human faculties of hearing, sight and understanding were developed.

There is no agreement among legal scholars – including those of the founders of the four schools of religious law of the early Islamic period – as to the exact point in time this happens, however.



Abortion


Islam's approach to the issue of birth control and abortion is very balanced. It allows women to prevent pregnancy but forbids them to terminate it. In case of rape the woman should use the morning after pill or RU486 immediately after the sexual assault in order to prevent the possible implantation of a fertilized ovum. Modern technology (like ultra sound scan) has made it possible to know whether or not a child has a defect long before he is born. Some people justify the abortion of a defective fetus.

The Shari'ah allows abortion only when doctors declare with reasonable certainty that the continuation of pregnancy will endanger the woman's life. This permission is based on the principle of the lesser of the two evils known in Islamic legal terminology as the principle of al-ahamm wa 'l-muhimm (the more important and the less important). The Prophet said, "When two forbidden things come [upon a person] together, then the lesser will be sacrificed for the greater." In the present case, one is faced with two forbidden things: either abort the unborn child or let a living woman die. Obviously, the latter is greater than the former; therefore, abortion is allowed to save the live person. 1



Permissibility of Abortion 2

"And do not kill your children for fear of poverty: We give them sustenance and yourselves (too): surely to kill them is a great wrong." (17:31)

The abortion of a fetus from the mother's womb is a different issue, since the sperm and egg have already met and fertilized what could become a human being. The scholars all agree that abortion is forbidden after the first four months of pregnancy, since by that time the soul has entered the embryo but it would allow the use of RU486 (the "morning-after pill"), as long as it could be reasonably assumed that the fertilized egg has not become implanted on the wall of the uterus. Most scholars say that abortion is legal under Islamic Shari'ah (law), when done for valid reasons and when completed before the soul enters the embryo. To abort a baby for such vain reasons as wanting to keep a woman’s youthful figure, are not valid.

"...And do not slay your children for (fear of) poverty -- We provide for you and for them --- and do not draw nigh to indecencies, those of them which are apparent and those which are concealed, and do not kill the soul which Allah has forbidden except for the requirements of justice: this He has enjoined you with that you may understand." (6:151)



Qur’anic verses misinterpreted 3

There are, however, some Qur'anic verses which prohibit infanticide:



"And do not kill your children for fear of poverty: We give them sustenance and yourselves (too): surely to kill them is a great wrong." (17:31)



These verses in fact were revealed to forbid the pre-Islamic Arab practice of killing or burying alive a newborn child (particularly a girl) on account of the parents' poverty or to refrain from having a female child. Perhaps in those days, people did not know safe methods of contraception and early abortion.



Embryonic development was central to the Muslim arguments on abortion. According to Muslim scholars, it is lawful to have an abortion during the first 120 days, but after the stage of ensoulment (after the soul enters into the fetus), abortion is prohibited completely except where it is imperative to save the mother's life. After ensoulment, however, abortion is prohibited absolutely and is akin to murder.



The Hanafi scholars, who comprised the majority of orthodox Muslims in later centuries, permitted abortion until the end of the four months. According to them, a pregnant woman could have an abortion without her husband's permission, but she should have reasonable grounds for this act. One reason, which was mentioned frequently, was the presence of a nursing infant. A new pregnancy put an upper limit on lactation, and the jurists believed that if the mother could not be replaced by a wet-nurse, the infant would die.



Views of Four Madhhabs (Schools of Thought) 4

There is broad acceptance in the major Islamic schools of law on the permissibility of abortion in the first four months of pregnancy. Most of the schools that permit abortion insist that there must be a serious reason for it such as a threat to the mother's life or the probability of giving birth to a deformed or defective child. However, as the Egyptian booklet."(The Arab Republic of Egypt published a booklet called "Islam's Attitude Towards Family Planning.") says: "Jurists of the Shiite Zaidiva believe in the total permissibility of abortion before life is breathed into the fetus, no matter whether there is a justifiable excuse or not." That would be a pure form of what some call "abortion on demand."

The majority of orthodox Muslims (following the Hanafi school) in later centuries, allowed abortion until the end of the four months. According to them, a pregnant woman could have an abortion without her husband's permission, but she should have reasonable grounds for this act. Most of the Maliki jurists (legal scholars) described abortion as completely forbidden. In their view, when the semen settles in the womb, it is expected to develop into a living baby and it should not be disturbed by anyone. According to Ibn Jawziyyah, when the womb has retained the semen, it is not permitted for the husband and wife, or one of them or the master of the slave-wife, to induce an abortion. After ensoulment, however, abortion is prohibited absolutely and is akin to murder.

The Hanafi school (prevalent in Turkey, the Middle East and Central Asia) allows abortions to take place principally until day 120; some jurists restrict this provision to “good cause”, e.g. if the mother is still nursing an infant and fears that her milk may run out during the new pregnancy. In aborting up to day 120, the woman commits a mere moral transgression, not a crime. The Shafi school (dominant in Southeast Asia, southern Arabia, parts of East Africa) allows abortions to be performed up to day 120. For the Maliki school (prevalent in North and Black Africa) an abortion is permissible with the consent of both parents up to day 40; it is no longer allowed after that. For the Hanbali school (predominant in Saudi Arabia and United Arabic Emirates) abortions are principally prohibited from day 40 onward.



Some Shiite groups, such as the Ismailis, do not permit abortions to take place at all. In case of infringements of this law, abortions before day 40 are penalized with a monetary fee. Other Shiite groups such as the Zaydites allow abortions to be performed up to day 120, equating an abortion up to this point with contraception. Whoever injures a pregnant woman to the extent that she loses her child must pay compensation according to Islamic law. Strictly speaking, this money belongs to the dead child, who is to inherit it. The family of the woman who undergoes an abortion must also pay compensation if the child’s father had not consented to the abortion performed on her.

Several differences become clear, however, between modern legal practices and the statements made by early Islamic jurists. In principle, the protection of unborn lives is today in the forefront, i.e. modern-day legal scholars judge more conservatively than the authors of the early Islamic legal texts. Exceptions are made in some countries if the life of the mother is endangered, based on Surah Baqarah, 2:233: "A mother should not be made to suffer because of her child.” As a result, abortion is possible for health reasons up to day 90 in many countries. In Algeria, Egypt, Iran, Pakistan and Turkey abortion is fully prohibited (an exception is made if the mother’s life is endangered); this does not imply, however, that abortions are not at all performed. Tunisia’s liberal abortion practice allows for abortions to be performed up to the end of the third month. There, abortions are principally permissible for single as well as married women in the first three months, provided that a registered doctor performs them. The approval of the husband or of a male guardian is not required in Tunisia.

Some contemporary voices speak out fully against abortion, arguing that Islam is granted strength through multitudes of children. Traditionally, a large family with several sons has always been the ideal situation in the Islamic world. Abortion in this context is compared with murder, with references to the endangered health of the woman. Other voices view abortion as a type of birth control and refer to the fact that the wives of prophets also practiced birth control with the approval of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). Muslim women’s rights advocates demand the right to free abortion in connection with the demand for self-determination. The hesitation of many doctors, for fear of legal prosecution, to perform abortions in clinics leads to illegal operations and numerous cases of death. A number of legal assessments (fatwas) have been published on the subject of abortion; this support one viewpoint or the other but do not legally have the character of law and are therefore not binding.

Abortion in Islam 5

Some Muslims argue that abortion is permissible if the fetus is younger than four months (120 days). They quote a statement from the Prophet (s) that refers to a human being starting as a fertilized ovum in the uterus of the mother for forty days, then it grows into a clot for the same period, then into a morsel of flesh for the same period, then an angel is sent to that fetus to blow the Ruh into it and to write down its age, deeds, sustenance, and whether it is destined to be happy or sad.

Assuming the Hadith to be authentic, scholars explain that the error comes from understanding that before the Ruh is blown into the fetus at 120 days, the fetus is not a living entity, and therefore aborting it does not amount to killing it. It therefore becomes clear that aborting a fetus before 120 days is still killing a living entity, let alone abortion after that presumed period.

Some Muslims argue that the only case when aborting a fetus, before or after 120 days, is allowed in Islam, is when a medical situation threatens the life of the mother, leaving only two options, to let either the other or the fetus survive, but not both. Scholars argue that such a case can only be determined by a specialist, trusted and committed Muslim doctor. They argue that the mother can have other children, whereas the child cannot make up for losing the mother.

Sheikh Yusuf Al-Qaradawi 6

Sheikh Yusuf Al-Qaradawi states in his well-known book, “The Lawful and the Prohibited in Islam”:

“While Islam permits preventing pregnancy for valid reasons, it does not allow doing violence to it once it occurs.

Muslim jurists have agreed unanimously that after the fetus is completely formed and has been given a soul, abortion is Haram. It is also a crime, the commission of which is prohibited to the Muslim because it constitutes an offense against a complete, living human being. Jurists insist that the payment of blood money (diya) becomes incumbent if the baby is aborted alive and then died, while a fine of lesser amount is to be paid if it is aborted dead.

However, there is one exceptional situation. If, say the jurists, after the baby is completely formed, it is reliably shown that the continuation of the pregnancy would necessarily result in the death of the mother, then, in accordance with the general principle of the Shari'ah, that of choosing the lesser of two evils, abortion must be performed. The reason for this is that the mother is the origin of the fetus; moreover, her life is well established with duties and responsibilities, and she is also a pillar of the family. It would not be possible to sacrifice her life for the life of a fetus which has not yet acquired a personality and which has no responsibilities or obligations to fulfill.

Allah Almighty knows best.

REFERENCES:

1. Marriage and Morals in Islam. Chapter 4: contraceptives and Abortion. Sayyid Muhammad Rizvi, Pub. By Islamic Education and Information Center, Scarborough, Ont. Canada.

2. www.understanding-Islam.com 1st March 1999

3.Family Planning and Islam: A Review by Khalid Farooq Akbar Hamdard Islamicus Vol. 17, No. 3, 1974.

4. Abortion in Islam. Christine Schirrmacher (Institute for Islamic Studies) Online at www.islaminstitut.de/english/publications/abortion.htm

5. Abortion in Islam. Elsayed Kandil, SALAM Magazine, Sydney, New South Wales http://www.famsy.com/salam/.

6. Yusuf Al-Qaradawi. "Lawful and the Prohibited in Islam" Islamic Book Service, 1982

Women Bashing and Islam

In September 2005, an Imam who wrote a book on how to beat one’s wife without leaving marks on her body, was ordered by a judge in Spain to study the country’s constitution.


The judge told Mohamed Kamal Mustafa, an Imam of a mosque in the southern resort of Fuengirola, to spend six months studying three articles of the constitution and the universal declaration of human rights.


Mr. Mustafa was sentenced to 15 months in jail and fined about $ 2,600 last year after being found guilty of inciting violence against women.



A judge released him after 22 days in jail on the condition that he undertook a re-education course. The Spanish government has set up a commission to find ways for the Muslim community to regulate itself. A central recommendation is that the imams should speak Spanish and have basic knowledge of human rights and Spanish law.



In his book “Women in Islam,” published four years ago, Mr. Mustafa, the Imam wrote that verbal warnings followed by a period of sexual inactivity could be used to discipline a disobedient wife. If that failed, he argued that, according to Islamic law, beatings could be sensibly administered.



“The blows should be concentrated on the hands and feet using a rod that is thin and light so that it does not leave scars or bruises on the body,” he wrote.


MR. MUSTAFA’S LESSONS, which he must pay for, will be taught by teachers from Malaga University.


According to La Vanguardia newspaper, he will have to study articles 10, 14 and 15 of the Spanish constitution. The first two address “the dignity of a person and inviolable rights” and states “all Spaniards are equal before the law.”


The third one states, “The moral and physical integrity of a person in no case can be submitted to torture nor inhuman or degrading punishments or treatment.”


In the Qur’an, Surah 4: 34 reads:
“Men are the {qawwam} of women, because Allah has given the one more than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are {qanitat}, and guard in the husband’s absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear {nushooz}, admonish them first, then refuse to share their beds, and finally {adriboo} them; but when they {ataa:} to you, then seek not against them means of annoyance: For Allah is Most High, great above you all.”



Is the husband superior and the wife is inferior?


Throughout in the Noble Qur’an, Allah emphasizes that men and women are equal for Him – Allah will judge them in exactly the same way. It is hard to believe if a verse would contradict this equality. But is that really the case here? The Arabic word used is {qawwam}, an intensive form of {qaim}, meaning: ‘to take care of, to stand up for, to look after’. Therefore, does this verse say that men are superior to women? Not at all. It says: men must look after women. In Islam, men are obliged to financially provide for their wife and children. They have to pay for their housing, clothing, food, medicines, etc. That is what {qawwamoona} means: men must take care of women.



Beating One’s wife?


The verse instructs a husband whose wife causes problems in their marriage to first talk to her about it, then leave the marital bed, then {adriboo} his wife - and all this in view of pursuing reconciliation as is evident from the subsequent verse 4:35.



ADRIBOO


The Arabic word used here, {adriboo}, from the root {d-r-b}, has several dozens of meanings, such as: ‘to beat’, but also: ‘to forsake, to avoid, to separate, to leave, to part’. (DOES THE QUR’AN ALLOW BEATING OF WOMEN? By: MOHAMMED ABDUL MALEK online at www.irfi.org).



In Surah, Al- Nur, 24:2, describes what should be done in case of adultery:
“The woman and the man guilty of adultery or fornication, - flog each of them with a hundred stripes...” (Noble Qur’an 24:2)


This verse establishes the principle that for men and women, equal actions lead to equal punishment. In case of adultery men and women must receive equal punishment; surely there is no reason why they should be treated differently for any lesser marital problem.

Suppose {adriboo} means: ‘to beat’.


In this case, verse 4:34 says that when a wife causes a problem in the marriage, her husband should first talk to her about it, then leave the bed, then beat her and all of this in view of increasing his chances of a reconciliation. On the emotional level, this certainly does not sound like a very promising course of action. If one follows the principle of ‘equal behaviour leads to equal punishment’ then when a husband causes a problem in the marriage, his wife can beat him. At which he could invoke verse 4:34 to beat her again, so that the result would be a perpetual physical fight between spouses! Surely, this makes no sense at all. And indeed, it is not what Allah prescribes for the situation where a husband causes a rift, as will be explained in a moment.


Suppose {adriboo} means: ‘to forsake, to avoid’, possibly, as Mohammed Abdul Malek suggests: ‘to separate, to part’.


Then Verse 4:34 says that when a wife causes a problem in the marriage, her husband should first talk to her about it, then leave their bed (forsaking his sexual satisfaction), then avoid her even more (not talking to her anymore, leaving the room when she enters it, and possibly even leaving the house for a while), in order to prevent things from getting worse, and on the contrary to let things cool down and create enough space in view of increasing chances of a reconciliation.


This sounds like a very logical chain of events.



Also, application of the general rule of verse 24:2 (‘equal actions, equal punishment’) now means that when a husband causes a marital problem, his wife should forsake a few of her rights, avoid her husband in increasing ways, and try to work towards a reconciliation. And yes, that is precisely what verse 4:128 says:
“If a wife fears cruelty or desertion on her husband’s part, there is no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlement between themselves” (Glorious Qur’an 4:128)
Understanding {adriboo} as ‘to forsake, to (gradually) avoid (more and more), possibly eventually leave altogether’, clearly makes sense when relating several verses to one another.



Prophet’s Example


Beating a wife, would contradict hadiths of the Noble Prophet who repeatedly said: “Do not beat believing women!” It would also contradict the Noble Prophet’s instructions about anger – which he explained to originate from Satan and which he described as “a living coal on one’s heart”. One should not act upon ones anger, lest one would do things and regret later. When a person is angry while standing, “sit down”, the Prophet (pbuh) said. And if one is still angry even in the sitting position, then one should lie down. Interpreting this verse as allowing a husband to beat his wife, surely contradicts these rulings on anger.


Furthermore, Allah says in the Noble Qur’an that one must meet bad behaviour with something that is better, not with something that is worse, in order to turn a hostile situation into a friendly one:
“Nor can goodness and Evil be equal. Repel (Evil) with what is better: Then will he between whom and thee was hatred become as it were thy friend and intimate!” (Noble Qur’an 41:13). Therefore the word {adriboo} cannot really have meant “to beat”, can it? It must mean something that is better than causing problems, and avoiding the problem.
Based on the foregoing, interpreting {adriboo} as ‘to beat’, causes several internal conflicts with the meaning of other Qur’anic verses and ahadith, while interpreting it as ‘gradually forsaking, more and more and possibly leaving altogether’, is a much more logical interpretation that is entirely consistent with the interpretation of other rules in the Glorious Qur’an and the Sunnah of the Noble Prophet Muhammad.



Return to obedience?
When the problem is solved, and the wife is committed to the marriage again, then the husband is advised not to keep using the incident against her and to consider the incident closed. And the Noble Qur’an advises that when one of the partners causes a marriage problem, the other should gradually avoid the person who causes the problem, in order to save the marriage - irrespective of who started the strife (4:34, 4:128)

SAME SEX MARRIAGE and MARRIAGE IN ISLAM

Marriage is a socially sanctioned union, typically of one man and one woman, in this connection called husband and wife. Typically they form a family, socially, through forming a household, which is often subsequently extended biologically, through children. It is found in all societies, but in widely varying forms.

History of same-sex marriage 1
Same-sex marriage has been documented in many societies that were not subject to Christian influence. In North American, among the Native American societies, it has taken the form of two-spirit type relationships, in which some members of the tribe elect to take on female gender with all its responsibilities. They are prized as wives by the other men in the tribe, who enter into formal marriages with these two-spirit men.

In China, especially in the southern province of Fujian where male love was especially cultivated, men would marry youths in elaborate ceremonies. The marriages would last a number of years, at the end of which the elder partner would help the younger find a (female) wife and settle down to raise a family.

In Africa, among the Azande of the Congo, men would marry youths for whom they had to pay a bride-price to the father. These marriages likewise were understood to be of a temporary nature.

Finally, in Europe during Hellenic times, the relationships between Greek men and youths who had come of age were analogous to marriage in several aspects. The age of the youth was similar to the age at which women married (the mid-teens), and the relationship could only be undertaken with the consent of the father. This consent, just as in the case of a daughter's marriage, was contingent on the suitor's social standing. The relationship, just like a marriage, consisted of very specific social and religious responsibilities, and also had an erotic component.

Same-sex marriage around the world
Same-sex marriages currently are legally performed only in the Netherlands and Belgium. For the time being, the Canadian provinces of Ontario and British Columbia have also legalized same-sex marriage. Recently, the term "same-sex marriage" has been displacing "gay marriage", the term being perceived as less value-laden for the union of two partners of the same sex and also being more inclusive of bisexuals.

Legal recognition of same-sex marriage
In the late 20th and early 21st centuries, there has been a growing movement in a number of countries to regard marriage as a right which should be extended to gay and lesbian couples. Legal recognition of a marital union opens up a wide range of entitlements, including social security, taxation, inheritance and other benefits unavailable to couples unmarried in the eyes of the law. Restricting legal recognition to heterosexual unions excludes same-sex couples from gaining legal access to these benefits. (While opposite-sex unmarried couples without other legal impediments have the option of marrying in law and so gaining access to these rights, that option is unavailable to same-sex couples.) Lack of legal recognition also makes it more difficult for same-sex couples to adopt children.

Opponents of same-sex marriage
Some opponents object to same-sex marriage on religious grounds, arguing that extending marriage to homosexual couples undercuts the conventional meaning of marriage in various traditions, and does not fulfill any procreational role. In countries with monogamous marriages only, some opponents also claim that allowing same-sex marriage will re-open the door to the legalization of polyamorous marriage, or other forms they find objectionable. They also feel that same-sex couples should not be allowed to have or adopt children, and that same-sex marriage would make those adoptions easier; they hold that same-sex households are not an adequate environment for children to be raised in. Others simply do not recognize any pressing need for same-sex marriages.

Some libertarians object to same-sex civil marriages because they are opposed to any form of state-sanctioned marriage, including opposite-sex unions.

Many other people, while tolerant towards the sexual behaviour of others, see no reason to alter their society or government's traditional attitudes towards marriage and family.

Proponents of same-sex marriage
In response, proponents point out that traditional concepts of marriage have already given way to liberalization in other areas, such as the availability of no-fault divorce and the elimination of anti-miscegenation laws. Some opponents counter that this shouldn't have happened in the first place. They also suggest that many people in modern societies no longer subscribe to the religious beliefs which inform traditional limits upon marriage, and no longer wish these beliefs to constitute the law. In fact, there are some religions that celebrate same-sex weddings or commitment ceremonies already; in Canada, the United Church of Canada, the country's largest Protestant denomination, has striven for the legalization of same-sex marriage.

In the United States, proponents of equal marriage rights for same-sex couples point out that there are over 1,049 federal rights and benefits denied same-sex couples by excluding them from participating in marriage. A legal denial of rights or benefits afforded to others, they say, directly contradicts the 14th Amendment of the US Constitution which provides for equal protection and substantive due process under the law. Meaning that rights conferred to one group cannot be denied to another. In the 2003 case before the Supreme Court titled Lawrence V. Texas, the court held that intimate consensual sexual conduct was part of the liberty protected by substantive due process under the Fourteenth Amendment. Many proponents of same-sex marriage have noted that this ruling paves the way for a subsequent decision invalidating state laws prohibiting same-sex marriage.

Some conservative proponents of equal marriage argue further that by extending marriage to same-sex couples, marriage is in fact strengthened by involving more people in the U.S. institution and would encourage gay men and women to settle down with one partner and raise a family.

Other forms of same-sex partnership
The movement towards the legal recognition of same-sex marriages has resulted in changes in the law in many jurisdictions, though the extent of the changes have varied:

Civil unions provide most of the rights and responsibilities of same-sex marriage, but use a different name for the arrangement. They exist in several European countries as well as in the U.S. in the state of Vermont, the Canadian provinces of Quebec and Nova Scotia, and the city of Buenos Aires, Argentina.

Domestic partnership or registered partnerships provide varying degrees of privileges and responsibilities, usually far fewer than those found in civil unions. Their purpose is not limited to same-sex arrangements and they exist in many jurisdictions.

Even in jurisdictions where they are not legally recognized, many gay and lesbian couples choose to have weddings (also called "commitment ceremonies" in this context) to celebrate and affirm their relationship, fulfilling the social aspect of a marriage. Such ceremonies have no legal validity, however, and as such do not deal with issues such as inheritance, property rights or social security.

Some writers have advanced the idea that the term "marriage" should be restricted to a religious context and that state and federal governments should not be involved in a religious rite. Some regard this as a governmental intrusion into religion; they believe that all statutes involving domestic contracts should replace the word "marriage" with "domestic partnership" and thus bypass the controversy of gender. This would then allow a domestic contract between any two individuals who have attained their majority.



ISLAMIC PERSPECTIVE 2



Nikah is an Arabic term used for marriage. It means "contract". ("Aqd in Arabic). The Quran specifically refers to marriage as "mithaqun Ghalithun,". Which means "a strong agreement".

"and they have taken a strong pledge (Mithaqun Ghalithun) from you?" (Quran 4:21)

The seriousness of this covenant becomes very obvious when one finds the same term i.e., Mithaqun Ghalithun, being used for the agreement made between Allah and the Prophet before granting them the responsibility of the Prophethood. (Quran 33:7)

The Quran also uses the Arabic word "Hisn", suggesting "fortress" for marriage. Marriage is considered the fortress of chastity.



The Definition of Marriage (Nikah)
The original meaning of the work nikah is the physical relationship between man and woman. It is also used secondarily to refer to the contract of marriage, which makes that relationship lawful. Which of the two meanings is intended can be determined by the context in which it is used.

As for the definition of marriage in fiqh, the simple definition would go something like this:

"A contract that results in the two parties physically enjoying each other in the manner allowed by the Shari'a."

Since this only focuses on one aspect of the marriage contract, Muhammad Abu Zahrah (a modern scholar) defines it like this:

"A contract that results in the man and woman living with each other and supporting each other within the limits of what has been laid down for them in terms of rights and obligations."

Ibn Uthaimeen takes an even more comprehensive view of the institution of marriage in his definition of it as:

"It is a mutual contract between a man and a woman whose goal is for each to enjoy the other, become a pious family and a sound society."

The Purpose and Goals of Marriage
Like anything a Muslim does, marriage should only be undertaken after gaining an understanding of all that Allah has prescribed in terms of rights and obligations as well as gaining an understanding of the wisdom behind this institution. Nearly all peoples and all societies practice marriage in some form, just as they practice business (buying and selling). Umar ibn Al-Khattab used to expel people from the marketplace in Madina who were not knowledgeable of the fiqh of buying and selling. Likewise, a Muslim should not engage in something as important as marriage without having understanding of the purpose of marriage in Islam as well as a comprehensive understanding of the rights and obligations, which it brings about.

One of the principles of Islamic Jurisprudence says that: "The default state of all things is lawfulness until some evidence shows otherwise." Based on this, if new foods are discovered, they are considered lawful, unless there is some specific reason or attribute which would make it forbidden for example if it is causes intoxication. Relations between men and women do not follow this general principle and in fact are opposite to it. The principle is that: "Relations between men and women are forbidden until some evidence shows otherwise."

Procreation (Children)
On of the most important purposes of marriage is to continue and increase the population of the Muslims. Clearly, this goal could be achieved without marriage, but when actions are undertaken in disobedience to Allah, they do not receive the blessing of Allah and the whole society is corrupted. The Prophet (sas) said:

"Ankihoo fa inniy mukaathirun bikum al umam yaum al-Qiyama"
"Marry, for I will outnumber the other nations by you on Qiyama." (Ibn Majah - Sahih)



It should be stressed that the goal is not simply to produce any child that will live in the next generation. It is to produce righteous children who will be obedient to Allah and who will be a source of reward for their parents after they die. The Prophet (sas) will NOT be boasting before the other nations on the day of Qiyama with children of Muslim parents who left the path of Islam. Thus it is the responsibility of Muslim parents to seek the means of giving their children the training and education they need not just to grow, but to succeed as Muslims worshipping and obeying Allah. This obligation may include migration (hijrah), establishing of Muslim communities and schools and other obligations. As the scholars have said in another principle of fiqh:

"Maa laa yutimmu al-wajibu illa bihi fa huwa wajib."
"That without which an obligation cannot be fulfilled is itself obligatory."

Pleasure
Islam is the religion of the fitrah - the religion which is consistent with the natural instincts and needs of mankind. It is not like the man-made (of modified) religions which set unnatural constraints on people whether self-inflicted prohibition of marriage (nuns and monks, etc.), prohibition of divorce or monogamy. Men are inclined toward women and women are inclined toward men. Marriage is the institution, which fulfills this desire and channels it in ways pleasing to Allah Most High. Allah mentions this attraction:

{Zuyyina li an-naasi hubbu ash-shahawaati min an-nisaa'i wa al-baneen...}

{The love of the desires for women, sons, ... has been made attractive to people.} The Qur'an, Aal-'Imraan 3:14



The Messenger of Allah himself made clear that the attraction between the sexes is something natural and not something to be denied or suppressed - only channeled in the ways pleasing to Allah Most High, saying:

"Hubbiba ilayya min dunyaakum an-nisaa'u wa at-teebu wa ju'ilat qurratu 'ainiy fiy as-salat."
"Women and perfume have been made beloved to me of this world of yours and my peace of mind is in the prayer." (Ahmad & others - Sahih)



The desire of men and women for each other is an urge, which needs to be fulfilled. If it is left unfulfilled, it will be a source of discord and disruption in society. For this reason, the Prophet (sas) ordered all men who are capable of meeting the responsibilities of marriage to do it:

"Man kana minkum dhaa tawlin, falyatazawwaj fa innahu aghadhdh lilbasari wa ahsanu lilfarji wa man laa fa as-saumu lahu wijaa."
"Whichever of you is capable should marry for it will aid him in lowering his gaze and guarding his body (from sin). As for the one who is not capable, fasting is his protection." (An-Nasaa'i - Sahih)

The Ruling Concerning Marriage
Different Rulings for Different Cases?
What is the status of marriage in the Shari'a? Is it obligatory or merely allowed? Some of the Hanafi scholars have broken this question down into different cases:

If a person feels certain that he will commit something forbidden if he does not marry and he has the financial ability to marry, then marriage is in his case fardh (the highest level of the obligatory in Hanafi terminology).

If a person has the ability to marry and treat his wife properly and fears (strong probability) that he will engage in unlawful acts if he doesn't, then marriage in his case is wajib (obligatory).

If a person does not have the financial or physical means to marry or feels certain that he will not treat his wife properly then marriage in his case is haram (forbidden).

If a person has the means to marry, but feels strongly that he will not treat his wife properly, marriage in his case is makrooh (disliked).

If a person has the means to marry and has no fear of mistreating his wife or of committing the unlawful if he doesn't marry, then marriage in his case is mustahabb (preferred).

This last opinion is widely regarded as the "default" (al-asl) ruling in this question i.e., marriage, generally speaking is the preferred but not obligatory way and only becomes obligatory, forbidden, etc. in the exceptional cases.

Since the man is normally the one who goes looking for a spouse and proposes to her family, etc., these discussions normally focus on him. Every point in the above discussion, however, applies to women equally as it does to men.

The Dhaahiri (Literalist) Opinion
In the Literalist school of thought, marriage is considered fardh 'ain - an absolute and individual obligation. Among the evidence they cite are the following verse from the Qur'an and hadith of the Prophet (sas):

{Wa ankihoo al-ayaamaa minkum wa as-saliheena min 'ibaadikum wa imaa'ikum in yakunoo fuqara'a yughnihimu Allahu min fadhlihi wa Allahu wasi'un 'aleem (22) Wa lyasta'fif illadhina laa yajiduna nikahan hatta yughniahumu Alahu min fadhlihi}

{And marry off the single among you and among the righteous of your male and female slaves. If they are poor then Allah will supply their needs from His generosity. And Allah is expansive, knowing. (22) And let those who do not find marriage hold back until Allah grants them of His generosity.} An-Noor 24:32-33



The following hadith of the Prophet (sas) seems to be a blanket "order" to all those with the capability to get married:

"Yaa ma'shara ash-shabaab man istataa'a minkum al-ba'a falyatazawwaj."
"O young men, whoever among you has the ability, let him marry." Bukhari & Muslim

Conclusion Concerning the Ruling of Marriage
The opinion that marriage is - overall - preferred (mustahabb) seems to be the strongest opinion. Ibn Uthaimeen further points out that if a person desires to be married, it becomes even more important. He said: "Marriage in the case of desire for such is preferred over superogatory acts of worship, due to the many good results and praiseworthy effects it has."



Also, it is clear that there is a collective obligation (fardh kifaya) on the Ummah as a whole to promote, defend and facilitate the institution of marriage. If marriage suffers from neglect or, for example, unreasonably high dowries which force people to postpone marriage too long, it is a collective obligation on the Ummah to come to its aid and to ensure that as many people as possible live within the context of a marriage. Also, if a the Muslims come to have too many single women because of the abandonment of polygamy, it become a collective obligation on the Muslims to address and correct this situation. This is all clearly based on the command of Allah in the verse previously cited which starts out:

{And marry off the single among you...}

Review Questions
1. True or False: Marriage is the sunnah of the Messengers of Allah and everyone must get married.

2. What is the ruling of marriage according to the Literalist school of thought? What is their evidence?

3. Give a Shari'a definition of marriage.

4. What are some of the main goals and purposes of marriage in Islam?

5. Under what circumstances could marriage be considered forbidden for a specific individual?

Under what circumstances could marriage be considered obligatory for a specific individual?

SECRETS OF A HAPPY MARRIAGE

It is better to be married than staying single. Hence Allah created Eve or Hawwa for Adam. The risks are high for singles-longevity and health problems and the insurance premiums are high for singles.

Love commits suicide on the night of Jalwa (nuptial night) or after the honeymoon, because Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.



For a lasting marriage there should be a common interest.

The couple should soon discover a common interest and a common goal. Raising children is an excellent choice to focus on the common interest and goal. As parents the couple should nurture them with the best. One could be one step ahead. Make the children to excel parents in everything- both TANGIBLE AND INTANGIBLE. Tangible means that you can touch and feel. Intangible examples are: Education, knowledge, spiritualism, Character, pain, pleasure, etc. In short parents should have a goal of making the children to have a better life than themselves. One father's words of wisdom to his daughters "Education is your real husband and your profession is your real husband". These assets are intangible and are better than tangible things. Parents blessed with foresight and wisdom strive to make each generation to excel both in education and profession. If a grandfather is a high school graduate, and father is a college graduate, the grandchildren should earn a graduate degree or a doctorate degree. Parents should aim to see progression of status and achievements from one generation to the next.



In North America without the wisdom and guidance of our elders it is a big challenge to make our children to excel us.



Back home if children go astray the parents are blamed. On the other hand if children do well the credit goes to the parents.



Greatest satisfaction for parents is when children do better than the parents such as when they earn a terminal educational degree, better income, status, etc. Similarly for a teacher the greatest satisfaction is when the student excels the teacher in qualification, status, job, etc.



Subsequently one should develop a philosophy "IT IS BETTER TO GAIN THE LOVE OF YOUR CHILDREN AND LOSE THE RICHES OF THE WORLD, THAN TO GAIN THE RICHES OF THE WORLD AND LOSE THE LOVE OF YOUR CHILDREN"



Many of us living in Western countries are entangled in the rat race and have little time for our spouses and children.



Some parents have doubts. When they invest so much into their children's future, they doubt if the children would care them in their old age or if they would respect them.



Some parents comment at seeing good children "Your parents are lucky to have you", and the good child would immediately reply, " I am lucky to have my Parents".

When children go to college interviews they face difficult questions. One of the questions asked is "Who is your Hero?" As parents we expect their reply would be a war hero, political leader, religious leader, etc. But to our surprise, our child would reply, "My Hero is my Father". This reply deeply touched the heart of the parents.



Some of our children, particularly daughters continue to live with their parents. As you know in America children want to live separately after age 18, even though they may be living in huge mansions of their parents.



Children need the right amount of love, discipline, guidance, communication, involvement and parental TIME.



Each family has family values, moral and ethical standards. We expect our children to follow them strictly. One of our friends' sons at age 25 married a lowly educated American white Girl. There is nothing wrong in marrying an American girl, but she already was a mother who had two daughters out of wedlock. Another young Muslim physician married his late patients' American white widow who had two daughters. Love is blind.



It is a blessing from Allah (SWT) to have children who admire and practice Islamic values in the Western countries.



Secrets of a Happy Marriage:



The secrets of a happy marriage are High Fidelity or Faithfulness and TRUST.

The married couple should learn the art of compromise and it usually takes years.

The largest parts of compromise are openness to the other’s point of view and good communication when differences arise.

It is important to remember that affections and courtesies must flow back and forth between both partners. “You have to have a deep respect for each other,”



“A happy and successful marriage is based on equality. When one or the other dominates strongly, intimacy is replaced by fear of displeasing.”



With work and persistence, and commitment on the part of both partners, a marriage can be long lasting and successful, ultimately becoming like a favorite sweater (A husband and wife, to paraphrase the Qur’an, are garments for each other.), soft in just the right places, and worn with such love and ease that even the grayed spots are comforting and familiar.



Successful Married Couples grow with each other.



It simply isn’t wise to put any person in charge of your happiness. You must be happy with yourself before anyone else can be. You are responsible for your actions, your attitudes and your happiness. Your spouse just enhances those things in your life.

STATUS OF WOMEN IN ISLAM

By Mitra Abdur Rashid


I am by no means an "authority" on Islam but I do come from a place where there is a spectrum of views on the subject of women in Islam. I grew up in Iran seeing my mother practice Islam in a pure and quiet way, with tolerance, care and concern for everyone Later I learned about political Islam and from that point on, the images between what "is" and what "should be" became apparent.

Many of us - those from the West and the East - have negative images of women in Islam: the uneducated woman who has no say in decision making, the pregnant mother who does household chores all day, the subservient wife who suffers under the abuse of her dictatorial husband. The western perception in general and the western media in specific have specialized in portraying these images. In all honesty, in the East, where I come from, although the images may not be as harsh, the prejudices somewhat remain. In the East, at times, these prejudices which emanate from misunderstandings, ignorance, old tales and sayings, enter the fabric of society and after many generations people believe what is told to them is real religion and the word of God, it mixes with cultural attitudes and takes on the name of religion. So, it has been and remains a great challenge to affirm the rights of Muslim women.

For this reason, the topic of women in Islam is an essential subject for discussion, for both eastern and western women and men. I hope it will create a bond of discovery and understanding between them. Given my limited time and knowledge, I will keep to just a few essential topics, beginning with the historical contexts and Quranic references that create the framework for understanding the place of woman in Islam. I will also try to touch on issues that concern Muslim women and men as well as non-Muslims.


My points will, Inshallah, focus on the basic principles of Islam for both women and men to follow in society. Moreover, I would like to emphasize the distinction between the "normative" teachings of Islam and diverse cultural practices among Muslims which may or may not be consistent with these teachings. So although you might continue to have those negative images in your mind that I mentioned earlier, you will, Insha'Allah, know that the principles differ from actuality.


1. INTRODUCTION:

Today people think that women are liberated in the west and that the women's liberation movement began in the 20th Century. Actually the women's liberation movement was revealed by God to Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) in the seventh century. The Qur'an and the Traditions of the Prophet (Hadith and Sunna) guarantee every Muslim woman certain rights and duties.

2. EQUALITY VS. SAMENESS

These rights are equal to those of a man but they are not necessarily identical. Equality and sameness are two different things. This difference is understandable because man and woman are not identical but they are created equals. The distinction between equality and sameness is of paramount importance. With this distinction in mind, there is no room to imagine that woman is inferior to man, just because her rights are not identical. Had her status been identical with his, she would have been simply a duplicate of him, which she is not. The fact that Islam gives her equal rights - but not identical rights- shows that it takes her into consideration, acknowledges her, and recognizes her independent personality and role.


In the Qur'an Allah frequently addresses both the man and the woman. In one passage Allah reveals:

"For Muslim men and women, for believing men and women, for devout men and women, for true men and women who are patient, for men and women who humble themselves, for men and women who give in charity, for men and women who fast, for men and women who guard their chastity, and for men and women who engage much in Allah's praise - For them all has Allah prepared forgiveness and great reward." (33:35)

3. Human Rights:


Woman is recognized by Islam as equal partner in the procreation of humankind. Man is the father, woman is the mother, and both are essential for life. By this partnership, woman has an equal share in every aspect; she is entitled to equal rights; she undertakes equal responsibilities, and she has as many qualities and as much humanity as her partner. So, fourteen centuries ago, Islam made men and women equally accountable to God in glorifying and worshiping Him - setting no limits on her spiritual progress. In the Qur'an in the first verse of the chapter entitled "Women", God says:

"O mankind! Be careful of your duty to your Lord Who created you from a single soul and from it its mate and from them both have spread abroad a multitude of men and women. Be careful of your duty toward Allah in Whom you claim (your rights) of one another, and towards the wombs (that bore you). Lo! Allah has been a Watcher over you." (4:1)


And again in the Qur'an:

"O mankind! Verily we have created you from a single (pair) of a male and female, and made you into nations and tribes that you may know each other." (49:13; cf.4:1)


4. CIVIL RIGHTS:

When we then consider the area of civil rights, education is of greatest importance. The Prophet (pbuh) said: "Seeking knowledge is a mandate for every Muslim (male and female)." Keeping people ignorant equals oppression; whether man or woman. In the case of women their civil rights were considered necessary for the proper functioning of the community.


Recognizing her individuality, Islam grants a woman freedom of choice and _expression. We are encouraged to contribute opinions and ideas. Women would pose questions directly to the Prophet (sal) and to other Muslim leaders and offer their opinions concerning religion, economics, and social matters. (Qur'an 58:1-4; 60:10-12)


Actually it was 1400 years ago that a right to vote was given to the woman. When the women came to Prophet Mohammad (sal) and swore their allegiance to him, he had to accept their oath. This established the right of women to publicly participate in the selection of their leader. Nor does Islam forbid a woman from holding important positions in government.


Historical records show that women participated in early public life, accompanying Muslim armies into battle to nurse the wounded, prepare supplies, and serve the warriors, and so on. They were not shut behind iron bars or considered worthless creatures and deprived souls, as we see today in such deteriorating and misguided societies as Taliban Afghanistan. People kept ignorant of Islam's true position on women due to age-old cultural practices begin to accept the misguidance as true. This is especially unfortunate in Afghanistan where so many women were professionals, contributing to the well being of their society, for many years prior to the Taliban. Not only does it poison the minds of the Afghani people toward Islam but also it focuses the rest of the world's attention on an aberration that uses the name of Islam so wrongly.


5. ECONOMIC RIGHTS:

In terms of contributions to society the status of women economically is unique. From the earliest days greater financial security was assured for women. Women are entitled to receive marital gifts, and to keep properties and income for their own security. No married woman is required to spend a penny on the household. She is entitled to full financial support during marriage and during the waiting period (`iddah) in case of divorce. Whether she is a wife or mother, a sister or daughter, she is allowed to receive a certain share of deceased kin's property, and no one can disinherit her.

Although both man and woman are entitled to inherit property of relations, their portions may vary. In some instances the man receives 2 shares whereas the woman gets one only; this is because the man by law is solely responsible for the complete maintenance of his family. It is also his duty to contribute financially to all good causes in his society. The woman, in contrast, has no obligatory financial responsibilities. She is provided for, whether by her husband, son, father, brother, or other male relative. If she has no relation on whom she can depend, and she has no inheritance, then she is the responsibility of the society. She may be given aid or a job to earn her living, and whatsoever money she makes will be hers. So, in the hardest situation her financial responsibility is limited, while the man's is unlimited.

6. RIGHTS AND DUTIES OF A WIFE:

In further addressing rights, it is important to look at the role of the wife. The Qur'an states:

"And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among
yourselves that you may live in tranquility with them, and He had
put love and mercy between you; Verily, in that are signs for people
who reflect."


Marriage, therefore, is not just a physical or emotional necessity,
but in fact, a sign from God! It is a relationship of mutual rights and obligations based on divine guidance. God created men and women with complimentary natures, and in the Qur'an, He laid out a system of laws to support harmonious interaction between the sexes.

Allah says in the Qur'an:


"They are your garments and you are their garments." (2:187)


Clothing provides physical protection and covers the beauty and faults of the body. A spouse is viewed similarly . Each protects the other, hides the faults and compliments the characteristics of the spouse. To foster the love and security that comes with marriage, Muslim wives have several rights: the first one is to receive 'mahr' from the husband, which is a gift as part of the marriage contract A wife has the right to kind treatment. The Prophet (pbuh) said:

"The most perfect believers are the best in conduct. And the best of you are those who are best to their wives."

God tells us He created mates and put love, mercy, and tranquility between them. With rights come responsibilities. The Qur'an states:

"the good women in the absence of their husbands guard their rights as Allah has enjoined upon them to be guarded."


A wife has to keep her husband's secrets and protect their marital privacy. Issues of intimacy or faults of his that would dishonor him, are not to be shared by the wife, just as he is expected to guard her honor.


7. WOMAN AS THE MOTHER:

The woman as mother is of special importance. This is something that most of us have been blessed with. Mothers, in Islam, are accorded a special place of honor.

A man came to the Prophet Mohammad (sal) asking: `O Messenger of Allah, who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet said, your mother. The man said then who is next: the Prophet said, your mother. The man asked again, then who is next: the Prophet said, your mother. The man asked further and only then did the Prophet say, your father. (Al Bukhari) Kindness to parents, especially to mothers, is a foundation stone in the structure of Islam.


8. EXAMPLES OF MUSLIM WOMEN TODAY:

I would like to mention a few contemporary Muslim women who have and continue to contribute to today's world.

Queen Noor of Jordan Laleh Bakhtiar - author and scholar, psychologist

Rabia Terry Harris - translator and writer

Haja Noura Durkee: Author, lecturer, teacher

Nahid Angha: Psychologist, founder International Assoc. Of Sufism

Mouna Abul Fadl - Author. Scholar

Leila Ahmed - Author and Scholar; first Muslim woman appointed to the faculty of Harvard Divinity School

Audrey Shabbas - Educator, founder of Arab World and Islamic Resources (AWAIR)



9. CONCLUSION

I would like to conclude by stating that 1400 years ago, the Muslim woman was given a role, duties, and rights that most women do not enjoy today, even in the west. Yet, the religion which revolutionized the status of women is being portrayed as repressive to women. As mentioned earlier, this myth is perpetuated by the media; in addition, in the case of the Taliban and other examples from my own country and elsewhere, women's inherent Islamic rights
have been abrogated.


One issue surrounded by a great deal of misunderstanding is the custom of wearing hijab. The Qur'an enjoins modest dress for both men and women, and in a Muslim society, the men as well as the women typically dress conservatively. Some Muslim women interpret the Qur'an and Hadith as guiding them to dress modestly and cover their hair in all public situations, others insist that their whole body including hands and face are to be covered, yet others understand the guidance to mean a more general attitude of modesty both in dress and attitude. Many Muslim women freely choose to dress modestly in order to avoid the public scrutiny, judgments, and social dynamics associated with physical appearance. By dressing in ways that do not draw attention to ourselves, we affirm the Qur'anic teachings both of modesty and gender equality. Or as one Canadian Muslima, Naheed Mustafa has written: "...that men and women are equal, and that individuals should not be judged according to gender, beauty, wealth, or privilege"


No scholarly or informed Muslim can condone women being forced to remove themselves from public life altogether, anymore than we can condone violence against women, the denial of women's right to work and own property, or the refusal to allow women a voice in government. Where such treatment takes place in the Muslim world, people of other faiths ought to realize that there are in certain places and circumstances a significant disparity between beliefs and practices in Islam as well as their own faiths; and the simple fact that the actions of certain individuals who claim Islam do not truthfully or accurately represent Islam.

Nor are Muslim women unique in their issues; Buddhist, Hindu, Jain, Sikh women in various parts of the world as well as certain sects of Judaism and
Christianity share the same problems. To label the status of women in the Muslim world today as "Islamic" is as far from the truth as labeling the position of women in the West today as "totally liberated and equal". Inshallah, with this understanding in mind, Muslims and non-Muslims - men and women- could start a process of communication and dialogue in order to remove misconceptions, suspicions, and fears. So as you can see there are many challenges for today's Muslim woman whether in the westernized world or in traditional societies. Through internal and external dialogue I am confident we will find the ways to remain true to the Shariah and Sunnah and contribute to the world today.

I am very grateful for this opportunity and I thank you for your patience. Please forgive me for any errors I may have made. Assalam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahe wa Barakatuh. May the Peace, Compassion and Mercy of Allah be with you.