Islamic Wedding
By Moulana M. Saleem Dhorat
Wedding of Fatimah (RadhiAllah Anha)
Fatimah (Radhiallaahu Ánha) is the youngest daughter of our beloved Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam). Out of all the children, he was the most beloved to him. He said, 'The Queen of the ladies in Jannat is Faatimah.' He also said, 'Faatimah is part of my body. Whoever grieves her, grieves me.'
When Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Ánha) reached the age of fifteen, proposals for her marriage began to come from high and responsible families. But the Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) remained irresponsive.
Ali (Radhiallaahu Ánhu), who was 21 at the time, says: It occurred to me that I should go and make a formal proposal, but then I thought, 'How could this be accomplished, for I possess nothing.' At last, encouraged by the Prophet's kindness, I went to him and expressed my intention to marry Faatima (Radhiyallaahu Anha). The Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) was extremely pleased and asked, 'Áli! Do you possess anything to give her in Mahr?' I replied, 'Apart from a horse and an armour I possess nothing.'
The Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) said, 'A soldier must, of course, have his horse. Go and sell away your armour.'
So, Áli (Radhiallaahu Ánhu) went and sold his armour to Uthmaan (Radhiallaahu Ánhu) for 480 Dirham and presented it to Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam). Bilaal (Radhiallaahu Ánhu) was ordered by the Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) to bring some perfume and a few other things and Anas (Radhiallaahu Ánhu) was sent to call Abu Bakr, Uthmaan, Talhah, Zubayr with some companions from the Ansaar (Radhiallaahu Ánhum).
When these men arrived and had taken their seats, the Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) recited the Khutbah (sermon) of Nikaah and gave Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Ánha) in marriage to Áli (Radhiallaahu Ánhu). He announced, 'Bear you all witness that I have given my daughter Faatimah in marriage to Áli for 400 Mithqaal of silver and Áli has accepted.' He then raised his head and made Duá saying, 'O Allah, create love and harmony between these two. Bless them and bestow upon them good children.' after the Nikaah, dates were distributed.
When the time came for Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Ánha) to go to Áli's (Radhiallaahu Ánhu) house, she was sent without any clamour, hue and cry accompanied Umm Ayman (Radhiallaahu Ánhu). After the Éesha Salaat, the Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) went to their house, took permission and entered. He asked for a basin of water, put his blessed hands into it and sprinkled it on both Áli (Radhiallaahu Ánhu) and Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Ánha) and made Duá for them.
The sovereign of both worlds gave his beloved daughter a silver bracelet, two Yemeni sheets, four mattresses, one blanket, one pillow, one cup, one hand-grinding mill, one bedstead, a small water skin and a leather pitcher.
In this simple fashion, the wedding of the daughter of the leader of the worlds was solemnised. In following this Sunnah method, a wedding becomes very simple and easy to fulfill.
SOME METHODS DERIVED FROM THE ABOVEMENTIONED MARRIAGE
The many customs as regards engagement are contrary to the Sunnah. In fact, many are against the Shariáh and are regarded sins. A verbal proposal and answer is sufficient.
To unnecessarily delay Nikah of both the boy and the girl after having reached the age of marriage is incorrect.
There is nothing wrong in inviting one's close associates for the occasion of Nikah. However, no special pains should be taken in gathering the people from far off places.
It is appropriate that the bridegroom be a few years older than the bride.
If the father of the girl is an Áalim or pious and capable of performing Nikah, then he should himself solemnise the marriage.
It is better to give the Mahr Faatimi and one should endeavour to do so. But if one does not have the means then there is nothing wrong in giving less.
It is totally un-Islamic for those, who do not possess the means, to incur debts in order to have grandiose weddings.
It is fallacy to think that one's respect will be lost if one does not hold an extravagant wedding and invite many people. What is our respect compared to that of Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam)?
The present day practice of the intermingling of sexes is an act of sin and totally against Shariáh.
There is nothing such as engagement parties and Medhi parties in Islam.
Great care must be taken as regards to Salaat on occasions of marriage by all - the bride, the bridegroom and all the participants.
It is un-Islamic to display the bride on stage.
The unnecessary expenses incurred by the bride's family in holding a feast has no basis in Shariáh.
For the engaged couple to meet at a public gathering where the boy holds the girl's hand and slips a ring on her finger is a violation of the Qurãnic law of Hijaab.
It is un-Islamic for the engaged couple to meet each other and also go out together.
Three things should be borne in mind when giving one's daughter gifts and presents at the time of Nikah:
· Presents should be given within one's means (it is not permissible to take loans, on interest for such presents);
· To give necessary items;
· A show should not be made of whatever is given.
It is Sunnat for the bridegroom's family to make Walimah.
Note: In Walimah, whatever is easily available should be fed to the people and care should be taken that the is no extravagance, show and that no debts are incurred in the process.
18. To delay Nikah after the engagement is un-Islamic.
SOME CUSTOMS
In aping Western methods sheepishly, Muslims have adopted many customs which are un-Islamic and frowned upon.
Some examples are:
Displaying the bride on stage;
Inviting guests for the wedding from far off places;
Receiving guests in the hall;
The bride's people incurring unnecessary expenses by holding a feast which has no basis in Shariáh. We should remember that Walimah is the feast arranged by the bridegroom after the marriage is consummated.
It is contrary to Sunnah (and the practice of some non-Muslim tribes in India) to wish, hope for or demand presents and gifts for the bridegroom, from the bride's people. We should always remember that our Nabi (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) did not give Áli (Radhiallaahu Ánhu) anything except Duá.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Wedding in Islam
by Mir Mohammed Assadullah
Spouses
Allah, most Gracious says about spouses in Quran:
Among His signs is [the fact] that He has created spouses for you among yourselves so that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has planted love and mercy between you; In that are signs for people who reflect.
Qur'an [30 : 21]
and says:
... they are a garment for you and you are a garment to them ...
Qur'an [2 : 187]
Consider this in conjunction with the following verse:
... the best garment is the garment of God-consciousness ...
Qur'an [7 : 26]
It requires that a husband and wife should be as garments for each other. Just as garments are for protection, comfort, show and concealment for human beings, Allah expects husbands and wives to be for one another.
And the believers, men and women, are protecting friends of one another; they enjoin the right and forbid the wrong, and they establish worship and they pay the poor-due, and they obey Allah and His messenger; as for those, Allah will have mercy on them; Lo! Allah is Mighty, Wise. Allah hath promised to believers - men and women - gardens underwhich rivers flow, to dwell therein, and beautiful mansions in gardens of everlasting bliss; but the greatest bliss is the good pleasure of Allah: This is the supreme felicity.
Qur'an [9 : 71 - 72]
Whom to marry
Allah also gives us freedom and urges us to:
...Marry the women of your choice...
Qur'an [4 : 3]
Similarly, for the women:
"A girl came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and informed him that her father had married her to her cousin against her wishes, whereupon the Prophet allowed her to exercise her choice. She then said, 'I am reconciled to what my father did but I wanted to make it known to women that fathers have no say in this matter'".
[Ibn Majah]
Narrated Abdullah: "We were with the Prophet, peace be upon him, while we were young and had no wealth whatever. So Allah's Apostle, peace be upon him, said, `O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty, and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power.'"
[Bukhari]
Narrated Abu Huraira: "The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, `A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman [otherwise] you will be a loser.'"
[Bukhari]
Mahr
Mahr is the gift that is given by the husband to his wife at wedding. It can be anything in any amount, as agreed by the bride and bride-groom. Allah says about Mahr in the Chapter `Woman' in Quran:
And give the women (on marriage) their Mahr as a free gift ...
Qur'an [4 : 4]
But if you had given the latter a cantar (of gold i.e. a great amount) for dower (Mahr) take not the least bit of it back ...
Qur'an [4 : 20]
Narrated Sahl bin Sa`d: " A woman came to the Prophet,, and presented herself to him (for marriage). He said, 'I am not in need of women these days.' Then a man said, 'O Allah's Apostle! Marry her to me." The Prophet asked him, 'What have you got?' He said, 'I have got nothing.' The Prophet said, 'Give her something, even an iron ring.' He said, 'I have got nothing.' The Prophet asked (him), "How much of the Quran do you know (by heart)?' He said, 'So much and so much.' The Prophet said, 'I have married her to you for what you know of the Quran.' '"
[Bukhari]
Sex
Sex is seen as an act of procreation. An eye for the what is about to come is kept open in this respect as well. The following prayer reminds us of God, results of our actions, and reminds us of our commitment to train our offsprings.
Narrated Ibn Abbas: "The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, `If anyone of you, when having a sexual intercourse with his wife says:
In the name of Allah! O Allah! Protect me from Satan and protect what you bestow upon us (i.e. an offspring) from Satan.
and if it is destined that they should have a child, then Satan will never be able to harm him.'"
[Bukhari]
Walima
Walima is the wedding reception given to friends and family after the consummation of marriage. It is given by the husband on this auspicious occassion, showing his happiness and sharing it with the friends and family.
Narrated Anas: When 'Abdur-Rahman came to us, the Prophet established a bond of brotherhood between him and Sa'd bin Ar-Rabi'. Once the Prophet said, "As you (O 'Abdur-Rahman) have married, give a wedding banquet even if with one sheep." '"
[Bukhari]
Narrated Abu Musa: "The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, `Set the captives free, accept the invitation (including to a wedding banquet), and pay a visit to the patients.'"
[Bukhari]
By this saying of the Prophet, peace be upon him, it is also enjoined upon us to join in the happiness of our brothers.
Duties and Rights of Husband and Wife after marriage
Allah informs us about the just rights of each other on us:
... the wife's rights (with regard to their husbands) are equal to the (husband's) rights with regard to them, although men are a degree above them; and Allah is Almighty, Wise.
Qur'an [2 : 228]
The statement that men are a degree above women means that authority within the household has been give to the husband in preference to the wife because a heavier burden has been placed on his shoulders by another verse of the Quran which says:
Men shall take full care of women, because Allah has given the one more strength than the other, and because they support them from their means.Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard ...
Qur'an [4 : 34]
Advice to Husbands
Jabir Narrated that the Prophet, peace be upon him, gave these instructions in his sermon during Farewell Pilgrimage: "Fear God regarding women; for you have taken them [in marriage] with the trust of God."
[Mishkat]
Narrated Aisha, God's messenger said: "Among the believers who show most perfect faith are those who have the best disposition, and are kindest to their families."
[Tirmidhi]
Narrated Abu Huraira, God's messenger said: "The believers who show the most perfect faith are those who have the best disposition and the best of you are those who are best to their wives."
[Tirmidhi]
Aisha has related that the Holy Prophet, peace be upon him, would enter the house with a pleasing disposition and a smile on his lips.
[Uswa-i-Hasana]
Narrated Al-Aswad: "I asked Aisha, `What did the Prophet, peace be upon him, do at home?' She said, `He used to work for his family and when he heard the call for the prayer, he would go out.'"
[Bukhari]
Narrated Abu Huraira: "Allah's Apostle, peace be upon him, said, `The woman is like a rib; if you try to straighten her, she will break. So if you want to get benefit from her, do so while she still has some bent.'"
[Bukhari]
Narrated Abu Huraira: "The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, `Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should not hurt (trouble) his neighbor. And I advise you to take care of women, for they are created from a rib and the most crooked portion of the rib is its upper part; if you try to straighten it, it will break, and if you leave it, it will reamin crooked, so I urge you to take care of women.
[Bukhari]
Narrated Abdullah bin Amr bin Al-As: "Allah's Apostle, peace be upon him, said, `O Abdullah! Have I not been informed that you fast all the day and stand in prayer all night?' I said, `Yes, O Allah's Apostle!' He said, `Do not do that! Observe the fast sometimes and also leave them at other times; stand up for the prayer at night and also sleep at night. Your body has a right over you and your eyes have right over you and your wife has a right over you.'"
[Bukhari]
Narrated Ibn Umar: "The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, `All of you are guardians and are responsible for your wards. The ruler is a guardian and the man is a guardian of his family; the lady is a guardian who is responsible for her husband's house and his offspring; and so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your wards.'"
[Bukhari]
Men should forbear any shortcomings of women in view of the following verse of Quran:
Live with them in kindness; even if you dislike them, perhaps you dislike something in which God has placed much good.
Qur'an [4 : 19]
Advice to Wives
Anas reported God's messenger as saying, "When a woman observes the five times of prayer, fasts during Ramadan, preserves her chastity and obeys her husband, she may enter by any of the gates of paradise she wishes (in other words nothing will prevent her from entering paradise)."
[Mishkat]
Um Salama reported God's messenger as saying, "Any woman who dies when her husband is pleased with her will enter Paradise."
[Tirmidhi]
Abu Huraira told that when God's messenger was asked which woman was best, he replied, "The one who fills [her husband] with joy when he sees her, obeys him when he directs and does not oppose him by displeasing him regarding her person or property."
[Mishkat]
Providing for wife and family
Quran teaches us to be reasonable and fair to our wives and family.
House women wherever you reside, accoding to your circumstances, and do not harass them in order to make life difficult for them ...
Qur'an [65 : 6]
The statement of Allah in the chapter `Woman':
`Men are protectors and maintainers of women ...'
Qur'an [4 : 34]
Bukhari quotes the following verse under the heading: .. the superiority of providing for one's family:
(O Mohammed!) They ask you what they ought to spend. Say: That which is beyond your needs. Thus Allah make clear to you His Signs in order that you may give thought (to it) in this worldly life and the Hereafter ...
Qur'an [2 : 219-220]
Narrated Abu Masud Al-Ansari: "The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, `When a Muslim spends something on his family intending to receive Allah's reward, it is regarded as Sadqa (spending in the name of God) for him.'"
[Bukhari]
We should always remember that Allah is the one who gives us, we are mere trustees of the funds.
Narrated Abu Huraira: "Allah's Apostle, peace be upon him, said, `Allah said, O the son of Adam! Spend, and I shall spend on you.'"
[Bukhari]
Narrated Abu Huraira: "Allah's Apostle, peace be upon him, said, `The best alms is that which you give when you are rich, and you should support your dependants first.'"
[Bukhari]
Abu Huraira reported God's messenger, peace be upon him, as saying: "Of the dinar (unit of currency) that you spend as a contribution in God's path, or to set free a slave, or as charity given to a needy, or to support your family, the one yielding the greatest reward is that which you spent on your family.
[Muslim]
Spouses
Allah, most Gracious says about spouses in Quran:
Among His signs is [the fact] that He has created spouses for you among yourselves so that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has planted love and mercy between you; In that are signs for people who reflect.
Qur'an [30 : 21]
and says:
... they are a garment for you and you are a garment to them ...
Qur'an [2 : 187]
Consider this in conjunction with the following verse:
... the best garment is the garment of God-consciousness ...
Qur'an [7 : 26]
It requires that a husband and wife should be as garments for each other. Just as garments are for protection, comfort, show and concealment for human beings, Allah expects husbands and wives to be for one another.
And the believers, men and women, are protecting friends of one another; they enjoin the right and forbid the wrong, and they establish worship and they pay the poor-due, and they obey Allah and His messenger; as for those, Allah will have mercy on them; Lo! Allah is Mighty, Wise. Allah hath promised to believers - men and women - gardens underwhich rivers flow, to dwell therein, and beautiful mansions in gardens of everlasting bliss; but the greatest bliss is the good pleasure of Allah: This is the supreme felicity.
Qur'an [9 : 71 - 72]
Whom to marry
Allah also gives us freedom and urges us to:
...Marry the women of your choice...
Qur'an [4 : 3]
Similarly, for the women:
"A girl came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and informed him that her father had married her to her cousin against her wishes, whereupon the Prophet allowed her to exercise her choice. She then said, 'I am reconciled to what my father did but I wanted to make it known to women that fathers have no say in this matter'".
[Ibn Majah]
Narrated Abdullah: "We were with the Prophet, peace be upon him, while we were young and had no wealth whatever. So Allah's Apostle, peace be upon him, said, `O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty, and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power.'"
[Bukhari]
Narrated Abu Huraira: "The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, `A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman [otherwise] you will be a loser.'"
[Bukhari]
Mahr
Mahr is the gift that is given by the husband to his wife at wedding. It can be anything in any amount, as agreed by the bride and bride-groom. Allah says about Mahr in the Chapter `Woman' in Quran:
And give the women (on marriage) their Mahr as a free gift ...
Qur'an [4 : 4]
But if you had given the latter a cantar (of gold i.e. a great amount) for dower (Mahr) take not the least bit of it back ...
Qur'an [4 : 20]
Narrated Sahl bin Sa`d: " A woman came to the Prophet,, and presented herself to him (for marriage). He said, 'I am not in need of women these days.' Then a man said, 'O Allah's Apostle! Marry her to me." The Prophet asked him, 'What have you got?' He said, 'I have got nothing.' The Prophet said, 'Give her something, even an iron ring.' He said, 'I have got nothing.' The Prophet asked (him), "How much of the Quran do you know (by heart)?' He said, 'So much and so much.' The Prophet said, 'I have married her to you for what you know of the Quran.' '"
[Bukhari]
Sex
Sex is seen as an act of procreation. An eye for the what is about to come is kept open in this respect as well. The following prayer reminds us of God, results of our actions, and reminds us of our commitment to train our offsprings.
Narrated Ibn Abbas: "The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, `If anyone of you, when having a sexual intercourse with his wife says:
In the name of Allah! O Allah! Protect me from Satan and protect what you bestow upon us (i.e. an offspring) from Satan.
and if it is destined that they should have a child, then Satan will never be able to harm him.'"
[Bukhari]
Walima
Walima is the wedding reception given to friends and family after the consummation of marriage. It is given by the husband on this auspicious occassion, showing his happiness and sharing it with the friends and family.
Narrated Anas: When 'Abdur-Rahman came to us, the Prophet established a bond of brotherhood between him and Sa'd bin Ar-Rabi'. Once the Prophet said, "As you (O 'Abdur-Rahman) have married, give a wedding banquet even if with one sheep." '"
[Bukhari]
Narrated Abu Musa: "The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, `Set the captives free, accept the invitation (including to a wedding banquet), and pay a visit to the patients.'"
[Bukhari]
By this saying of the Prophet, peace be upon him, it is also enjoined upon us to join in the happiness of our brothers.
Duties and Rights of Husband and Wife after marriage
Allah informs us about the just rights of each other on us:
... the wife's rights (with regard to their husbands) are equal to the (husband's) rights with regard to them, although men are a degree above them; and Allah is Almighty, Wise.
Qur'an [2 : 228]
The statement that men are a degree above women means that authority within the household has been give to the husband in preference to the wife because a heavier burden has been placed on his shoulders by another verse of the Quran which says:
Men shall take full care of women, because Allah has given the one more strength than the other, and because they support them from their means.Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard ...
Qur'an [4 : 34]
Advice to Husbands
Jabir Narrated that the Prophet, peace be upon him, gave these instructions in his sermon during Farewell Pilgrimage: "Fear God regarding women; for you have taken them [in marriage] with the trust of God."
[Mishkat]
Narrated Aisha, God's messenger said: "Among the believers who show most perfect faith are those who have the best disposition, and are kindest to their families."
[Tirmidhi]
Narrated Abu Huraira, God's messenger said: "The believers who show the most perfect faith are those who have the best disposition and the best of you are those who are best to their wives."
[Tirmidhi]
Aisha has related that the Holy Prophet, peace be upon him, would enter the house with a pleasing disposition and a smile on his lips.
[Uswa-i-Hasana]
Narrated Al-Aswad: "I asked Aisha, `What did the Prophet, peace be upon him, do at home?' She said, `He used to work for his family and when he heard the call for the prayer, he would go out.'"
[Bukhari]
Narrated Abu Huraira: "Allah's Apostle, peace be upon him, said, `The woman is like a rib; if you try to straighten her, she will break. So if you want to get benefit from her, do so while she still has some bent.'"
[Bukhari]
Narrated Abu Huraira: "The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, `Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should not hurt (trouble) his neighbor. And I advise you to take care of women, for they are created from a rib and the most crooked portion of the rib is its upper part; if you try to straighten it, it will break, and if you leave it, it will reamin crooked, so I urge you to take care of women.
[Bukhari]
Narrated Abdullah bin Amr bin Al-As: "Allah's Apostle, peace be upon him, said, `O Abdullah! Have I not been informed that you fast all the day and stand in prayer all night?' I said, `Yes, O Allah's Apostle!' He said, `Do not do that! Observe the fast sometimes and also leave them at other times; stand up for the prayer at night and also sleep at night. Your body has a right over you and your eyes have right over you and your wife has a right over you.'"
[Bukhari]
Narrated Ibn Umar: "The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, `All of you are guardians and are responsible for your wards. The ruler is a guardian and the man is a guardian of his family; the lady is a guardian who is responsible for her husband's house and his offspring; and so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your wards.'"
[Bukhari]
Men should forbear any shortcomings of women in view of the following verse of Quran:
Live with them in kindness; even if you dislike them, perhaps you dislike something in which God has placed much good.
Qur'an [4 : 19]
Advice to Wives
Anas reported God's messenger as saying, "When a woman observes the five times of prayer, fasts during Ramadan, preserves her chastity and obeys her husband, she may enter by any of the gates of paradise she wishes (in other words nothing will prevent her from entering paradise)."
[Mishkat]
Um Salama reported God's messenger as saying, "Any woman who dies when her husband is pleased with her will enter Paradise."
[Tirmidhi]
Abu Huraira told that when God's messenger was asked which woman was best, he replied, "The one who fills [her husband] with joy when he sees her, obeys him when he directs and does not oppose him by displeasing him regarding her person or property."
[Mishkat]
Providing for wife and family
Quran teaches us to be reasonable and fair to our wives and family.
House women wherever you reside, accoding to your circumstances, and do not harass them in order to make life difficult for them ...
Qur'an [65 : 6]
The statement of Allah in the chapter `Woman':
`Men are protectors and maintainers of women ...'
Qur'an [4 : 34]
Bukhari quotes the following verse under the heading: .. the superiority of providing for one's family:
(O Mohammed!) They ask you what they ought to spend. Say: That which is beyond your needs. Thus Allah make clear to you His Signs in order that you may give thought (to it) in this worldly life and the Hereafter ...
Qur'an [2 : 219-220]
Narrated Abu Masud Al-Ansari: "The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, `When a Muslim spends something on his family intending to receive Allah's reward, it is regarded as Sadqa (spending in the name of God) for him.'"
[Bukhari]
We should always remember that Allah is the one who gives us, we are mere trustees of the funds.
Narrated Abu Huraira: "Allah's Apostle, peace be upon him, said, `Allah said, O the son of Adam! Spend, and I shall spend on you.'"
[Bukhari]
Narrated Abu Huraira: "Allah's Apostle, peace be upon him, said, `The best alms is that which you give when you are rich, and you should support your dependants first.'"
[Bukhari]
Abu Huraira reported God's messenger, peace be upon him, as saying: "Of the dinar (unit of currency) that you spend as a contribution in God's path, or to set free a slave, or as charity given to a needy, or to support your family, the one yielding the greatest reward is that which you spent on your family.
[Muslim]
Monday, January 12, 2009
Saturday, November 29, 2008
NUTRITION SUGGESTIONS FOR A HEALTHY LIFE
Almighty Allah Who created the universe from nothing has made human beings responsible not only for acting as His servants but also for looking after their bodily existence. He has entrusted to them what needs to be kept as best as can be. We must not forget that robust health is the greatest blessing that Allah has given us. When we protect the bodies entrusted to us from illness, there are a few things about nutrition that we should keep in mind:
- Do not eat animal fats, butter or margarine.
- Eat lost of fruits and vegetables, even before meals.
- Be careful of salt and cook your food without using salt.
- Eat small amounts frequently.
- Do not eat late. If possible, get used to not eating after 9 o’clock.
- Use cold pressed olive oil in your food and on your salads. But don’t use too much olive oil; no more than 2 tablespoons a day. Otherwise the consumption of unsaturated fats will cause you to gain weight.
- Watch your carbohydrate intake. You should eat only one kind of carbohydrate per meal, such as bread, rice or pasta.
- Avoid refined sugar and white bread. Eat brown sugar instead of white and whole grain bread instead of white bread. Refined sugar and carbohydrates dissolve quickly in the blood producing an excess of insulin that could overwork the pancreas. This could hasten the onset of diabetes. Whole grain products contain vitamin B, leave a person feeling full and supply fiber that facilitates the working of the intestines.
- Balance your cholesterol with omega oils. Omega oils balance the cholesterol produced in the liver. Omege-3 is found mainly in fish; Omega-6 is found in walnuts and hazelnuts. Omega-3 found in canola oil has recently become popular.
- Cold water oily fish are especially rich in Omega-3 but because they contain lots of cholesterol they must be eaten sparingly. You can eat two small servings twice a week.
- We do not need more sugar or sweets than we get in our daily diet. The bread and rice that we consume is changed by the liver into the sugar that the body needs every day. One way to keep the blood sugar stable is to eat whole grain bread and brown rice which pass into the bloodstream after being slowly absorbed by the intestines. The stability of the blood sugar caused by these foods make us feel satisfied for a long time. This balance is delicately adjusted, but in any case if you are craving for sugar satisfy it by eating natural sweets such as dates, figs or a dried apricots.
- Do not eat animal fats, butter or margarine.
- Eat lost of fruits and vegetables, even before meals.
- Be careful of salt and cook your food without using salt.
- Eat small amounts frequently.
- Do not eat late. If possible, get used to not eating after 9 o’clock.
- Use cold pressed olive oil in your food and on your salads. But don’t use too much olive oil; no more than 2 tablespoons a day. Otherwise the consumption of unsaturated fats will cause you to gain weight.
- Watch your carbohydrate intake. You should eat only one kind of carbohydrate per meal, such as bread, rice or pasta.
- Avoid refined sugar and white bread. Eat brown sugar instead of white and whole grain bread instead of white bread. Refined sugar and carbohydrates dissolve quickly in the blood producing an excess of insulin that could overwork the pancreas. This could hasten the onset of diabetes. Whole grain products contain vitamin B, leave a person feeling full and supply fiber that facilitates the working of the intestines.
- Balance your cholesterol with omega oils. Omega oils balance the cholesterol produced in the liver. Omege-3 is found mainly in fish; Omega-6 is found in walnuts and hazelnuts. Omega-3 found in canola oil has recently become popular.
- Cold water oily fish are especially rich in Omega-3 but because they contain lots of cholesterol they must be eaten sparingly. You can eat two small servings twice a week.
- We do not need more sugar or sweets than we get in our daily diet. The bread and rice that we consume is changed by the liver into the sugar that the body needs every day. One way to keep the blood sugar stable is to eat whole grain bread and brown rice which pass into the bloodstream after being slowly absorbed by the intestines. The stability of the blood sugar caused by these foods make us feel satisfied for a long time. This balance is delicately adjusted, but in any case if you are craving for sugar satisfy it by eating natural sweets such as dates, figs or a dried apricots.
Friday, November 28, 2008
The Status of Women in Islaam
By Shaikh Ibn Baz
The status of the Muslim woman in Islaam is a very noble and lofty one, and her effect is very great in the life of every Muslim. Indeed, the Muslim woman is the initial teacher in the building of a righteous society, providing she follows the guidance from the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah of His Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam. Since adherence to the Qur’aan and the Sunnah distances every Muslim - male or female - from being misguided in any matter.
The secret of her importance lies in the tremendous burden and responsibility that is placed upon her, and the difficulties that she has to shoulder - responsibilities and difficulties some of which not even a man bears. This is why from the most important obligations upon a person is to show gratitude to the mother, and kindness and good companionship with her. And in this matter, she is to be given precedence over and above the father...
A man came to Allaah’s Messenger sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam and said: O Messenger of Allaah! Who from amongst mankind warrants the best companionship from me? He replied: "Your mother." The man asked: Then who? So he replied: "Your mother." The man then asked: Then who? So the Prophet replied again: "Your mother." The man then asked: Then who? So he replied: "Then your father." [Related by al-Bukhaaree (no.5971) and Muslim (7/2), from Abu Hurayrah radiallaahu ‘anhu ]. So this necessitates that the mother is given three times the like of kindness and good treatment than the father.
As regards the wife, then her status and her effect in making the soul tranquil and serene, has been clearly shown in the noble aayah (verse), in His - the Most High’s - saying:
"And from amongst His Signs is this: That He created for you wives from amongst yourselves, so that you may find serenity and tranquility in them. And He has put between you love and compassion. Indeed, in this are signs for those who reflect." [Soorah Room 30:21].
...And do not forget about ‘Aaishah - radiallaahu ‘anhaa - and her great effect. Since even the great Sahaabah (Companions) used to take knowledge of Hadeeth from her, and many of the Sahaabiyaat (female Companions) learn the various rulings pertaining to women’s issues from her...
And I have no doubt that my mother - may Allaah shower His mercy upon her - had a tremendous effect upon me, in encouraging me to study; and she assisted me in it. May Allaah greatly increase her reward and reward her with the best of rewards for what she did for me.
And there is no doubt also, that the house in which there is kindness, gentleness, love and care, along with the correct Islaamic tarbiyah (education and cultivation) will greatly affect the man. So he will become - if Allaah wills - successful in his affairs and in any matter - whether it be seeking knowledge, trading, earning a living, or other than this. So it is Allaah alone that I ask to grant success and to guide us all to that which He loves and is pleased with. And may the prayers and peace of Allaah be upon our Prophet Muhammad, and upon his Family, his Companions and his followers.
The status of the Muslim woman in Islaam is a very noble and lofty one, and her effect is very great in the life of every Muslim. Indeed, the Muslim woman is the initial teacher in the building of a righteous society, providing she follows the guidance from the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah of His Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam. Since adherence to the Qur’aan and the Sunnah distances every Muslim - male or female - from being misguided in any matter.
The secret of her importance lies in the tremendous burden and responsibility that is placed upon her, and the difficulties that she has to shoulder - responsibilities and difficulties some of which not even a man bears. This is why from the most important obligations upon a person is to show gratitude to the mother, and kindness and good companionship with her. And in this matter, she is to be given precedence over and above the father...
A man came to Allaah’s Messenger sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam and said: O Messenger of Allaah! Who from amongst mankind warrants the best companionship from me? He replied: "Your mother." The man asked: Then who? So he replied: "Your mother." The man then asked: Then who? So the Prophet replied again: "Your mother." The man then asked: Then who? So he replied: "Then your father." [Related by al-Bukhaaree (no.5971) and Muslim (7/2), from Abu Hurayrah radiallaahu ‘anhu ]. So this necessitates that the mother is given three times the like of kindness and good treatment than the father.
As regards the wife, then her status and her effect in making the soul tranquil and serene, has been clearly shown in the noble aayah (verse), in His - the Most High’s - saying:
"And from amongst His Signs is this: That He created for you wives from amongst yourselves, so that you may find serenity and tranquility in them. And He has put between you love and compassion. Indeed, in this are signs for those who reflect." [Soorah Room 30:21].
...And do not forget about ‘Aaishah - radiallaahu ‘anhaa - and her great effect. Since even the great Sahaabah (Companions) used to take knowledge of Hadeeth from her, and many of the Sahaabiyaat (female Companions) learn the various rulings pertaining to women’s issues from her...
And I have no doubt that my mother - may Allaah shower His mercy upon her - had a tremendous effect upon me, in encouraging me to study; and she assisted me in it. May Allaah greatly increase her reward and reward her with the best of rewards for what she did for me.
And there is no doubt also, that the house in which there is kindness, gentleness, love and care, along with the correct Islaamic tarbiyah (education and cultivation) will greatly affect the man. So he will become - if Allaah wills - successful in his affairs and in any matter - whether it be seeking knowledge, trading, earning a living, or other than this. So it is Allaah alone that I ask to grant success and to guide us all to that which He loves and is pleased with. And may the prayers and peace of Allaah be upon our Prophet Muhammad, and upon his Family, his Companions and his followers.
Islam : A Missing Link ?
Pause and reflect, there are numerous questions that start puzzling human mind right from the moment the human babe draws upon the dawn of consciousness – what are the material things, life, consciousness and the allied matters. What are Intuition, Revelation about Etakaaf, Zakat, Human Personality. What is the prayer (Namaz) and how does it differ from Salaat. What is the Destiny of Man. Are Good and Evil absolute. Is there any supersensuous source of knowledge for human counseling and directing. What is the political system of Quran that has been hurled into the trashcan of history and how does it help mould the human life today. What are the injunctions of fasting? What is the purpose of Hajj in the social order of Islam. What does the Quran say of alms and charity? And how does the Quran solve today's social and marriage problems.
In more recent times, fresh problems changing the mores and cores of life have cropped up – race, gambling, betting – its various forms – drinking, mix of wine with medicine, music, lottery, historical, interpretations and Islam, pornography, indecency, age, - its increasing and decreasing – economic system producing a mishmash of confusion, and cunnings of human reason, trepidation of the educated young – terrorism and escape – least measures to stymie ones ambitions, avalanche of funds to be accumulated, offering baubles and trinkets to make unlawful wide open and the like many more. Finally what is wrong with our History – the History of Islam, the achievements made during the First Era of Islam, the conspiracies of the foreign alliance against Islam, the significance of National Monuments? What is the future of Muslim Nationalism? Where will the romping with Deen, the System of Islam, lead us to in the comity of nations? What will come out of the pestilence – pernicious, evil influence – of elections? Why is Revelation the need of the West? And what its future is going to be.
The sole aim of projecting this vision is that the ultimate non-material basis of all life is eternal and reveals itself in variety and change.A society based on such a concept of Reality must reconcile, in its life,the categories of permanence and change.It must possess absolute principles to regulate its collective life.But absolute principles when they are understood to exclude all possibilities of change tend to immobilize what is essentially mobile in its nature.The failure of the Europe in political and social sciences illustrates the former principle;the immobility of Islam during the last five hundred years illustrates the latter.These underlined facts and figures,all of them need to be heeded, if we start pondering on these lines now! and evolve ourselves in its true essence then we can regain our lost character, otherwise what our status quo remain same even after 5 million years.
In more recent times, fresh problems changing the mores and cores of life have cropped up – race, gambling, betting – its various forms – drinking, mix of wine with medicine, music, lottery, historical, interpretations and Islam, pornography, indecency, age, - its increasing and decreasing – economic system producing a mishmash of confusion, and cunnings of human reason, trepidation of the educated young – terrorism and escape – least measures to stymie ones ambitions, avalanche of funds to be accumulated, offering baubles and trinkets to make unlawful wide open and the like many more. Finally what is wrong with our History – the History of Islam, the achievements made during the First Era of Islam, the conspiracies of the foreign alliance against Islam, the significance of National Monuments? What is the future of Muslim Nationalism? Where will the romping with Deen, the System of Islam, lead us to in the comity of nations? What will come out of the pestilence – pernicious, evil influence – of elections? Why is Revelation the need of the West? And what its future is going to be.
The sole aim of projecting this vision is that the ultimate non-material basis of all life is eternal and reveals itself in variety and change.A society based on such a concept of Reality must reconcile, in its life,the categories of permanence and change.It must possess absolute principles to regulate its collective life.But absolute principles when they are understood to exclude all possibilities of change tend to immobilize what is essentially mobile in its nature.The failure of the Europe in political and social sciences illustrates the former principle;the immobility of Islam during the last five hundred years illustrates the latter.These underlined facts and figures,all of them need to be heeded, if we start pondering on these lines now! and evolve ourselves in its true essence then we can regain our lost character, otherwise what our status quo remain same even after 5 million years.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Qur'anic Views on Polygamy
Polygamy (ta'adud-e-izdiwaj) 1
For either spouse the word used in Arabic is zawj, which means both husband or wife. Thus the very word zawj implies one husband and one wife. For marrying the word in Arabic is zawwaja or tazawwaja ( I married) and this means he married one woman ( or zawwajat, ie., she married a man). Zawwaja cannot mean the on one side there would be one man and on the other four or five women.
"O people, keep your duty to your Lord, who created you from a single soul and created its (zawjaha) of the same (kind), and spread from these two many men and women."….. The Qur'an 4: 1
In this Qur'anic verse Allah has created a couple (zawj, i.e., man and woman) and then created men and women from this couple. Thus in the beginning there was one male and one female and not many females for one male, though at that time there was greater need for this to increase the human population rapidly (it is not correct to say that polygamy leads to rapid increase in human population). This Qur'anic verse usually is recited while solemnizing the marriage (khutbah-e-nikah) but our 'ulama do not reflect deeply the implications of this verse. Obviously this verse clearly implies one female for one male and not many females for one male.
Let us refer to another verse of the Qur'an (2: 35) which says, "And We said: O Adam, dwell thou and thy wife in the garden, and eat from it a plenteous (food) wherever you wish, and approach not this tree, lest you be of the unjust."
Adam was the first person sent on earth and Allah had created only one wife for him and not several wives. Wherever Adam's story has been referred to in the Glorious Book, it refers to Adam and Hawwa' (Eve). For example, in verse 20: 117 it is said, "We said: O Adam, this is an enemy to thee and thy wife; so let him not drive you both out of the garden so that thou art unhappy." This verse also clearly refers to only one wife of Adam.
Let us refer to the verses 75: 36-39: "Does man think that he will be left aimless? Was he not a small life germ in sperm emitted? Then he was a clot; so He created (him), then made (him) perfect. Then He made of him two kinds, the male and the female." This verse also refers to men and women being made into zawjain, i.e., couples which clearly means one woman for one man. Thus God creates couples right from day one. Allah does not create ten women for one man. It is man, one can argue, who changes this equation.
But if it happens (i.e., more women for one man) it is due to some social crisis. The Noble Qur'an, one can argue, has shown us the solution. But during the normal period Allah creates only one woman for one man and man has to remain content with one woman only. But if someone marries a woman and be comes to dislike her, the Qur'an does not suggest that you then marry another one as four wives have been permitted. On the other hand the Qur'an says:
" O you who believe, it is not lawful for you to take women as heritage against (their) will. Nor should you straighten them by making them part of what you have given them, unless they are guilty of manifest indecency. And treat them kindly. Then if you hate them, it may be that you dislike a thing while Allah has placed abundant good in it. And if you wish to have (one) wife in the place of another and you have given one of them a heap of gold, take nothing from it. Would you take it by slandering (her) and (doing her) manifest wrong? And how can you take it when you have gone in unto each other, and they have taken from you a solemn covenant?"
The Qur'an requires that if you dislike your wife you better reconcile yourself to it because you may dislike something and Allah may have hidden something better for you in that. So it is better that you change your dislike into love. This may be good for you. No one is virtue personified nor anyone is evil personified. The wife you dislike may have certain virtues. But if you cannot overcome your dislike and you decide to divorce and marry another one (here the Qur'an does not suggest taking another wife along with the first but divorcing one and taking another one) you cannot take back from her what you had given her by way of mahr or gift, even if it be a heap of Gold. Thus the Qur'an puts pressure on the husband to think twice before divorcing one wife to take another in her place. The Qur'an persuades man to stick to the first wife and not to divorce her. Thus the Qur'an does not approve of polygamy even in such circumstances. It permits it only in highly exceptional circumstances or only in a crisis situation.
One should focus the verses on polygamy, i.e., verses 4: 2-3, to show that polygamy has been permitted only in highly exceptional circumstances, i.e., when a large number of women have been rendered yatim (orphans) due to devastating wars (which was not at all unusual at that time in Arabia. The Noble Prophet himself had to fight many such wars in which a large number of men were killed). The word yatim used in the above verse means not only orphans but also widows according to the classical Arabic usage. Even Imam Abu Bakr Jassas agrees to this meaning of the word yatim. Thus it is quite natural that in war time a large number of girls and women became orphans or widows and many of them possessed valuable properties. Their wards would either eat away this property or would exchange a bad one of their own with the good one of these orphans and widows. Thus in order to protect the properties of these women and to find shelter for them the Qur'an permitted marrying up to four wives. One can quote extensively from the Hanafi Imam Abu Bakr Jassas to support the above arguments.
The Meaning of verse 4: 3 is that you should marry these orphans or widows only, not other women. The words min al-nisa' and not min nisa'in clearly indicate that the Qur'an means those very women rendered orphans and widows in wars. Many commentators of the Qur'an maintain that a man can marry any other woman up to four whom he likes and quote a hadith to this effect from A'isha, the Prophet's wife.
Whatever is conditional would remain valid only if the condition is fulfilled. The number of marriages up to four has been permitted only on the condition that there are large number of orphan girls and widows who are not being taken care of or injustices are taking place with them or no one is there to look after them. Only if these conditions persist, up to four marriages will be permitted to Muslim men. But if such a condition does not prevail in the society, the permission to marry more than one wife will not be valid. This injunction in the Qur'an is not general but conditional. The verse pertaining to polygamy begins with wa in khiftum alla tuqsitu fi' al-yatama (if you fear you cannot do justice to orphans and widows) and hence this is the main condition. Thus it is obvious that one can take more than one wife only from among orphans and widows with whom one cannot do justice otherwise.
If the verse on polygamy permits more than one wife only in crisis situations why was it not understood in this perspective in the early Islamic period and why does this practice ( of polygamy) continue among the Muslims unabated? In the early Islamic period, as well as until the end of the Abbasid rule, the period was full of wars. During the Noble Prophet's time a number of battles had to be fought. Then during early period of Khilafat-e-Rashidah a number of wars were fought and then began the period of civil war among the Muslims. It was followed by the Umayyad period which was also full of conflict and turmoil. The Umayyads were subsequently overthrown and the Abbasid rule began. The wars continued. Sometimes with Daylams, sometimes with Saljuqs and sometimes Tartars. Ultimately the Tartars reduced the Abbasids to dust. This in these wars a large numbers of Muslim men continued to be killed and more and more orphan girls and widows came into existence. "Thus Muslim men continued to marry more than one wife and polygamy remained in practice. Because of its persistence for so long it became a strongly entrenched tradition and then followed the period of taqlid (blind imitation) and hence it persists in our times as well though Qur'anically speaking, it has no validity whatsoever today.
Polygamy 2
Polygamy was a way of life until the Quran was revealed 1400 years ago. When the earth was young and under-populated, polygamy was one way of populating it and bringing in the human beings needed to carry out God's plan. By the time the Quran was revealed, the world had been sufficiently populated, and the Quran put down the first limitations against polygamy.
Polygamy is permitted in the Quran, but under strictly observed circumstances. Any abuse of this divine permission incurs severe retribution. Thus, although polygamy is permitted by God, it behooves us to examine our circumstances carefully before saying that a particular polygamous relationship is permissible.
Our perfect example here is the prophet Muhammad. He was married to one wife, Khadijah, until she died. He had all his children, except one, from Khadijah. Thus, she and her children enjoyed the Prophet's full attention for as long as she was married to him; twenty-five years. For all practical purposes, Muhammad had one wife - from the age of 25 to 50. During the remaining 13 years of his life, he married the aged widows of his friends who left many children. The children needed a complete home, with a fatherly figure, and the Prophet provided that. Providing a fatherly figure for orphans is the only specific circumstance in support of polygamy mentioned in the Quran (4:3).
Other than marrying widowed mothers of orphans, there were three political marriages in the Prophet's life. His close friends Abu Bakr and Omar insisted that he marry their daughters, Aisha and Hafsah, to establish traditional family ties among them. The third marriage was to Maria the Egyptian; she was given to him as a political gesture of friendship from the ruler of Egypt.
This perfect example tells us that a man must give his full attention and loyalty in marriage to his wife and children in order to raise a happy and wholesome family.
The Quran emphasizes the limitations against polygamy in very strong words:
"If you fear lest you may not be perfectly equitable in
treating more than one wife, then you shall be content with one."
(4:3) "You cannot be equitable in a polygamous relationship, no matter how hard you try." (4:129)
The Quranic limitations against polygamy point out the possibility of abusing God's law. Therefore, unless we are absolutely sure that God's law will not be abused, we had better resist our lust and stay away from polygamy. If the circumstances do not dictate polygamy, we had better give our full attention to one wife and one set of children. The children's psychological and social well-being, especially in countries where polygamy is prohibited, almost invariably dictate monogamy. A few basic criteria must be observed in contemplating polygamy:
1. It must alleviate pain and suffering and not cause any pain or suffering.
2. If you have a young family, it is almost certain that polygamy is an abuse.
3. Polygamy to substitute a younger wife is an abuse of God's law (4:19).
Polygamy 3
The PUM (Persatuan Ulama Malaysia), it appears, is also piqued by a couple of writers and an NGO that have criticized groups, which offer unconditional support for polygamy. Here again, it is an indisputable truth that the Quranic position differs radically from the stance associated with an important section of mainstream ulama. The Quran, there is no doubt, permits polygamy only in the most extraordinary circumstance, as a way of delivering justice to orphans. Neither the financial status of the male nor his sexual needs nor the inability of the wife to bear a child is, from a Quranic point of view, a justification for practicing polygamy. Indeed, “monogamy is the preferred marital arrangement of the Quran” as many commentators have asserted from time to time in the course of the last few centuries. Amina Waded provides some insights into this and other related concerns in her Quran and Woman (Petaling Jaya: Fajar Bakti 1992). It is perfectly legitimate therefore for Muslims who are committed to Quranic principles to question those who have elevated polygamy to a sacrosanct law on par with the fundamental teachings of the religion.
As with apostasy, the conservative ulama may not be fully cognizant of the adverse consequences of their utterances on polygamy upon Islam, women and society. They create the impression that Islam is a religion that sanctions patriarchal power and dominance. Women are not only marginalized; whatever little rights they possess are given on sufferance. In the thinking of pro-polygamy ulama, gender equality, which is one of the major trends that transformed traditional society in the last hundred years, is nothing more than a mirage.
REFERENCES:
1. The Qur'an, Women and Modern Society, Asghar Ali Engineer, Select Books, India, 1999
2. This is a reprint from appendix 30 from Dr. Khalifa's translation of the Quran.
http://www.submission.org/polygamy.html
3. Ulama, Hegemony and Reform Chandra Muzaffar 16 February 2002
For either spouse the word used in Arabic is zawj, which means both husband or wife. Thus the very word zawj implies one husband and one wife. For marrying the word in Arabic is zawwaja or tazawwaja ( I married) and this means he married one woman ( or zawwajat, ie., she married a man). Zawwaja cannot mean the on one side there would be one man and on the other four or five women.
"O people, keep your duty to your Lord, who created you from a single soul and created its (zawjaha) of the same (kind), and spread from these two many men and women."….. The Qur'an 4: 1
In this Qur'anic verse Allah has created a couple (zawj, i.e., man and woman) and then created men and women from this couple. Thus in the beginning there was one male and one female and not many females for one male, though at that time there was greater need for this to increase the human population rapidly (it is not correct to say that polygamy leads to rapid increase in human population). This Qur'anic verse usually is recited while solemnizing the marriage (khutbah-e-nikah) but our 'ulama do not reflect deeply the implications of this verse. Obviously this verse clearly implies one female for one male and not many females for one male.
Let us refer to another verse of the Qur'an (2: 35) which says, "And We said: O Adam, dwell thou and thy wife in the garden, and eat from it a plenteous (food) wherever you wish, and approach not this tree, lest you be of the unjust."
Adam was the first person sent on earth and Allah had created only one wife for him and not several wives. Wherever Adam's story has been referred to in the Glorious Book, it refers to Adam and Hawwa' (Eve). For example, in verse 20: 117 it is said, "We said: O Adam, this is an enemy to thee and thy wife; so let him not drive you both out of the garden so that thou art unhappy." This verse also clearly refers to only one wife of Adam.
Let us refer to the verses 75: 36-39: "Does man think that he will be left aimless? Was he not a small life germ in sperm emitted? Then he was a clot; so He created (him), then made (him) perfect. Then He made of him two kinds, the male and the female." This verse also refers to men and women being made into zawjain, i.e., couples which clearly means one woman for one man. Thus God creates couples right from day one. Allah does not create ten women for one man. It is man, one can argue, who changes this equation.
But if it happens (i.e., more women for one man) it is due to some social crisis. The Noble Qur'an, one can argue, has shown us the solution. But during the normal period Allah creates only one woman for one man and man has to remain content with one woman only. But if someone marries a woman and be comes to dislike her, the Qur'an does not suggest that you then marry another one as four wives have been permitted. On the other hand the Qur'an says:
" O you who believe, it is not lawful for you to take women as heritage against (their) will. Nor should you straighten them by making them part of what you have given them, unless they are guilty of manifest indecency. And treat them kindly. Then if you hate them, it may be that you dislike a thing while Allah has placed abundant good in it. And if you wish to have (one) wife in the place of another and you have given one of them a heap of gold, take nothing from it. Would you take it by slandering (her) and (doing her) manifest wrong? And how can you take it when you have gone in unto each other, and they have taken from you a solemn covenant?"
The Qur'an requires that if you dislike your wife you better reconcile yourself to it because you may dislike something and Allah may have hidden something better for you in that. So it is better that you change your dislike into love. This may be good for you. No one is virtue personified nor anyone is evil personified. The wife you dislike may have certain virtues. But if you cannot overcome your dislike and you decide to divorce and marry another one (here the Qur'an does not suggest taking another wife along with the first but divorcing one and taking another one) you cannot take back from her what you had given her by way of mahr or gift, even if it be a heap of Gold. Thus the Qur'an puts pressure on the husband to think twice before divorcing one wife to take another in her place. The Qur'an persuades man to stick to the first wife and not to divorce her. Thus the Qur'an does not approve of polygamy even in such circumstances. It permits it only in highly exceptional circumstances or only in a crisis situation.
One should focus the verses on polygamy, i.e., verses 4: 2-3, to show that polygamy has been permitted only in highly exceptional circumstances, i.e., when a large number of women have been rendered yatim (orphans) due to devastating wars (which was not at all unusual at that time in Arabia. The Noble Prophet himself had to fight many such wars in which a large number of men were killed). The word yatim used in the above verse means not only orphans but also widows according to the classical Arabic usage. Even Imam Abu Bakr Jassas agrees to this meaning of the word yatim. Thus it is quite natural that in war time a large number of girls and women became orphans or widows and many of them possessed valuable properties. Their wards would either eat away this property or would exchange a bad one of their own with the good one of these orphans and widows. Thus in order to protect the properties of these women and to find shelter for them the Qur'an permitted marrying up to four wives. One can quote extensively from the Hanafi Imam Abu Bakr Jassas to support the above arguments.
The Meaning of verse 4: 3 is that you should marry these orphans or widows only, not other women. The words min al-nisa' and not min nisa'in clearly indicate that the Qur'an means those very women rendered orphans and widows in wars. Many commentators of the Qur'an maintain that a man can marry any other woman up to four whom he likes and quote a hadith to this effect from A'isha, the Prophet's wife.
Whatever is conditional would remain valid only if the condition is fulfilled. The number of marriages up to four has been permitted only on the condition that there are large number of orphan girls and widows who are not being taken care of or injustices are taking place with them or no one is there to look after them. Only if these conditions persist, up to four marriages will be permitted to Muslim men. But if such a condition does not prevail in the society, the permission to marry more than one wife will not be valid. This injunction in the Qur'an is not general but conditional. The verse pertaining to polygamy begins with wa in khiftum alla tuqsitu fi' al-yatama (if you fear you cannot do justice to orphans and widows) and hence this is the main condition. Thus it is obvious that one can take more than one wife only from among orphans and widows with whom one cannot do justice otherwise.
If the verse on polygamy permits more than one wife only in crisis situations why was it not understood in this perspective in the early Islamic period and why does this practice ( of polygamy) continue among the Muslims unabated? In the early Islamic period, as well as until the end of the Abbasid rule, the period was full of wars. During the Noble Prophet's time a number of battles had to be fought. Then during early period of Khilafat-e-Rashidah a number of wars were fought and then began the period of civil war among the Muslims. It was followed by the Umayyad period which was also full of conflict and turmoil. The Umayyads were subsequently overthrown and the Abbasid rule began. The wars continued. Sometimes with Daylams, sometimes with Saljuqs and sometimes Tartars. Ultimately the Tartars reduced the Abbasids to dust. This in these wars a large numbers of Muslim men continued to be killed and more and more orphan girls and widows came into existence. "Thus Muslim men continued to marry more than one wife and polygamy remained in practice. Because of its persistence for so long it became a strongly entrenched tradition and then followed the period of taqlid (blind imitation) and hence it persists in our times as well though Qur'anically speaking, it has no validity whatsoever today.
Polygamy 2
Polygamy was a way of life until the Quran was revealed 1400 years ago. When the earth was young and under-populated, polygamy was one way of populating it and bringing in the human beings needed to carry out God's plan. By the time the Quran was revealed, the world had been sufficiently populated, and the Quran put down the first limitations against polygamy.
Polygamy is permitted in the Quran, but under strictly observed circumstances. Any abuse of this divine permission incurs severe retribution. Thus, although polygamy is permitted by God, it behooves us to examine our circumstances carefully before saying that a particular polygamous relationship is permissible.
Our perfect example here is the prophet Muhammad. He was married to one wife, Khadijah, until she died. He had all his children, except one, from Khadijah. Thus, she and her children enjoyed the Prophet's full attention for as long as she was married to him; twenty-five years. For all practical purposes, Muhammad had one wife - from the age of 25 to 50. During the remaining 13 years of his life, he married the aged widows of his friends who left many children. The children needed a complete home, with a fatherly figure, and the Prophet provided that. Providing a fatherly figure for orphans is the only specific circumstance in support of polygamy mentioned in the Quran (4:3).
Other than marrying widowed mothers of orphans, there were three political marriages in the Prophet's life. His close friends Abu Bakr and Omar insisted that he marry their daughters, Aisha and Hafsah, to establish traditional family ties among them. The third marriage was to Maria the Egyptian; she was given to him as a political gesture of friendship from the ruler of Egypt.
This perfect example tells us that a man must give his full attention and loyalty in marriage to his wife and children in order to raise a happy and wholesome family.
The Quran emphasizes the limitations against polygamy in very strong words:
"If you fear lest you may not be perfectly equitable in
treating more than one wife, then you shall be content with one."
(4:3) "You cannot be equitable in a polygamous relationship, no matter how hard you try." (4:129)
The Quranic limitations against polygamy point out the possibility of abusing God's law. Therefore, unless we are absolutely sure that God's law will not be abused, we had better resist our lust and stay away from polygamy. If the circumstances do not dictate polygamy, we had better give our full attention to one wife and one set of children. The children's psychological and social well-being, especially in countries where polygamy is prohibited, almost invariably dictate monogamy. A few basic criteria must be observed in contemplating polygamy:
1. It must alleviate pain and suffering and not cause any pain or suffering.
2. If you have a young family, it is almost certain that polygamy is an abuse.
3. Polygamy to substitute a younger wife is an abuse of God's law (4:19).
Polygamy 3
The PUM (Persatuan Ulama Malaysia), it appears, is also piqued by a couple of writers and an NGO that have criticized groups, which offer unconditional support for polygamy. Here again, it is an indisputable truth that the Quranic position differs radically from the stance associated with an important section of mainstream ulama. The Quran, there is no doubt, permits polygamy only in the most extraordinary circumstance, as a way of delivering justice to orphans. Neither the financial status of the male nor his sexual needs nor the inability of the wife to bear a child is, from a Quranic point of view, a justification for practicing polygamy. Indeed, “monogamy is the preferred marital arrangement of the Quran” as many commentators have asserted from time to time in the course of the last few centuries. Amina Waded provides some insights into this and other related concerns in her Quran and Woman (Petaling Jaya: Fajar Bakti 1992). It is perfectly legitimate therefore for Muslims who are committed to Quranic principles to question those who have elevated polygamy to a sacrosanct law on par with the fundamental teachings of the religion.
As with apostasy, the conservative ulama may not be fully cognizant of the adverse consequences of their utterances on polygamy upon Islam, women and society. They create the impression that Islam is a religion that sanctions patriarchal power and dominance. Women are not only marginalized; whatever little rights they possess are given on sufferance. In the thinking of pro-polygamy ulama, gender equality, which is one of the major trends that transformed traditional society in the last hundred years, is nothing more than a mirage.
REFERENCES:
1. The Qur'an, Women and Modern Society, Asghar Ali Engineer, Select Books, India, 1999
2. This is a reprint from appendix 30 from Dr. Khalifa's translation of the Quran.
http://www.submission.org/polygamy.html
3. Ulama, Hegemony and Reform Chandra Muzaffar 16 February 2002
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
